Am I Just Going To Be Filler Material All My Life?

The stable sister. The innocent bystander. The work mate who is always there and never takes any sick leave or holidays.... That seems to be me.

At school there were those things - medals, trophies, top of the class... I wasn't any of those, or just one off. Yeah, a story published in the school paper, a certificate for winning a spelling bee. I was a once off child. I didn't end up as a captain or the editor of the paper or being sent off to the state finals for swimming...

Work... there's been no ladder climbing, no chain of promotions or leadership roles. I'm not the boffin that other people get sent to for info.

Relationships... same... there's no role for me. I'm not known as the agony aunt, or the friend who is always there to help at 3am. When parties happen, I am not the first name that comes to mind. I'm not the clown or the rock. I'm just one of the many.

Those tangible achievements... climbing mountains, doing triathlons, running a community organisation, being the driving force of anything from a lobby group to a lamington drive, bakes the best chocolate cake... nada.

When people ask me... what do you do? or what are you? I can't say any of those things, eg a nurse, a painter, I hike or bike, I love fishing, you should see my garden of tropical fruit trees.

There is nothing I do well, or frequently. Nothing even in my past that I could rest on my laurels for.

As I get older I wonder - is this all right? Is it ok to live my life like this? Is it ok to not have a burning passion to do anything over and over, to become an expert, or take on a role that can be described in a word?
BreezyCabin BreezyCabin
31-35, F
Jan 7, 2013