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Is Being A Virgin Really That Overrated?

So many of my friends are not a virgin. I feel like I'm the only one and I'm nineteen. I mean I feel like I am ready some days but there are some where I'm too scared to even think about it. What drives me more is my curiosity. Everyone thinks about it quite often. I don't think I'm the only one who does am I? It's not because of religion or anything I just feel I haven't found the right guy. And then I think it would be incredibly awesome to just have a night of passion with someone I am never going to see again so that the risk of getting my heart broken isn't there. That's what scares me more. Me getting emotionally hurt. Then I think it's just sex but I don't think of it as just sex because honestly I don't really believe in it. I believe in making love. Am I wrong for thinking like this? I mean at times I think I'm the only one who does but then I get worried that I'm gonna be a virgin the rest of my life.
LoverInTheClouds LoverInTheClouds 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 2, 2010

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same here , I feel exactly like you

I'm still a virgin, and I pretty much agree with what you have said.

I don't believe in sex until marriage, I just simply haven't found someone to share that with.

A part of me just wants to find a good friend to test the waters out, because I care about my friend.

I haven't though, I chicken out every time.

Over the years of nothing but having a broken heart and having to re patch and re build,

I realize that your heart is nothing to toy with and if you connect emotions with sex, then you really want to make sure that the person you are about to give everything to is trusted in your heart and someone you want to share that with.

Agree!

I've got an equal amount, or around equal, of friends that are both, those that lost their virginity, and those that perserved it.



I try not to think of it in a "good or bad" or "right or wrong" way, I just view it as them having individual traits that make them who they are. I like people being different, however they achieve that differences is part of the beauty. Those that have lost it suits the more confident and outgoing, those that haven't suits the more creative and caring. And, I don't treat them any differently whether they have done it or haven't. I've always been against using it as a judgement or popularity contest.



I think that people shouldn't do stuff, anything in life, unless they really want to, which isn't the same as doing it because they feel like they "have" to. You have to want to yourself, and if you're not happy about something, or it doesn't feel completely right, nothing is saying you HAVE to. Personally, people may look at those that haven't and label them with words like "frigid" but to be honest, I look at it this way. Virgins are careful enough not to "lose" stuff carelessly, and it shows that they have a stronger willpower and individuality to stay true to what's inside them, and not just what society imposes on them, they live for themselves. Why that's seen as a bad thing, puzzles me sometimes. They want things to be more special, quality over quantity if you will, and to me that's what I find attractive.



But people often say sex is more special if you're connected mentally and spiritually as well, and that the physical connection is the final peice.Otherwise it could be seen as meaningless, and the next day it didn't even matter. If you're with someone you care about, that connection lasts. And there is the risk of getting hurt, but people can't shy away from life because of that feeling. No one says the person you lose your virginity with, is someone you HAVE to spend the rest of your life with, but it's usually better to do it with someone you do feel a connection with, rather than someone random, meaning is important.



And when it has meaning, that's when it becomes "making love". Which, IMO, should be preserved. The more it's preserved, the more special it will be.Those that lose it carelessly when they're 15, will never experience that in adulthood.

Don't be in a rush. When your ready and have found the right guy you will know it is right. I'm 22 and still have not lost mine. The guy I'm with at the moment will wait all of his life until I'm ready. So there are guys out there willing to wait and love you all the same.

Making love is better than just having sex. You should wait.

Ok....... wow.... i am in the exact same postion as you i just turned 19... been so close to doing it a number of times but i backed out each time, ive broken up with guys because of it... my friend pretty much talk about seeeex all the time. im scared of getting hurt to... i dont want to let a guy use me, scared of getting pregnant, or a std and whether it hurts or not... glad im not the only one.

Sex can be extremely emotionally bonding for women. You have every right to be careful.