Everythings Getting Worse ..

So back in June I got pregnant by a boy that I was talking to at the time , things ended badly with me and him and I saw him again Saturday night , little does he know those 5-6 months we weren't talking he had actually gotten me pregnant , and I was having a little girl her name was going to be Jaylie Marie (: Being 15 and pregnant is NOT easy , but know one knew about it , eventually people would have to find out . All the times I was feeling her kick , and move around . They were what kept me going each day . I couldn't wait to hold her and be able to kiss her , I loved her more than my life already . I had spent so much money on her already and my family was getting some what use to the fact that their 15 year old was going to be a mommy of her own soon . Then came November 20th I had been feeling really sick that day so my grandma took me to the doctors and Jaylie hadn't been moving around like usual and that honestly scared the crap out of me , so they did and ultrasound and all I remember is the doctor turning to me and saying " No young girl should go through this , im so sorry but there isn't a heartbeat " It felt like my whole life came crashing around me at that very instance , my grandma ( being the one who took me ) just started crying . How was I suppose to explain this to my family ? How was I suppose to get rid of all the stuff I had already bought her ? How was I suppose to tell the father he had a dead baby when he didn't even know he was having one in the first place ? Everything just kept building up , and this is the first time i've said anything about this . I still have yet to tell the father , i just don't know how to tell him . It kills me knowing that in 4 months I wont be holding my baby girl in my arms , that im not going to feel her kicking anymore . I love you Jaylie . SO much .

xoxo mommy.
RIPJaylie RIPJaylie
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Jaylie. The grief that comes from the loss of an unborn child is just a real as the grief of an infant.Some people have a hard time recognizing that fact, and I am concerned that you will hear some ignorant comments from people who don't understand this. I hope you will be able to find someone who can help you grieve. Don't let them tell you how to feel; that is only up to you! You have felt a child growing inside your body; that makes you a mother.

Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Please take care of yourself and willing to surround yourself only with those people who offer you appropriate understanding and support. Perhaps even a support group; your doctor, nurses, school counselor, or church should be able to help you find resources. I'd like for you to have a whole bunch of people in your corner right now. And consider me to be one of them.


Thank you , that did help alot . And I have been hearing alot of ignorant comments but I know I just have to ignore them , its hard to , but I have to . My moms been looking for support groups for me , but I just don't really want to be around people right now, and who knows when I'll be able to. But once again thank you so much , this really did help me .