When I Hear Sirens

When I'm at work I hear sirens constantly because I'm so close to our towns hostpital. They used to annoy me and I would drop whatever I was doing to cover my ears and tune them out. Two weeks ago my fiances friend whom I was not close with was in a terrible car accident, and out of the 5 passangers he was the only one who did not make it. My fiance is having a terrible time in grieving for he grew up with this friend. We did not speak much about it, I just tryd to be there for him in his loss and tryd avioding bringing the situation up myself. I read and followed the story through the paper so I didn't upset him with questions, and it made me sick to my stomach, this boy was so young and had such a life ahead of him, everytime we saw him all I remember is he was always smiling. I feel terrible for my fiance because if this is making me sick to my stomach I can't imagine what its doing to him. When I hear sirens my feelings get worse, instead of getting annoyed and a headache I panic, and wonder where there going this time, if someone is hurt and if there going to be okay. I get shaky and want to vomit my ears ring and my chest starts to hurt. I'm not really sure why this is happening, or why I'm even writting about it. Guess I just had to get it out.
farfrom farfrom
31-35, F
Feb 8, 2010