I Feel So Dumb That I Trusted Him

I started talking to this guy in the end of January. I was very skeptical at first because some of my friends told me he kind of plays girls. I definitely had my guard up for a while and it took me a long time to even kiss him. We would hang out in groups and sometimes make out but nothing too intense. About a month later, we started hooking up on a regular basis. I would sleep over at his apartment on the weekend and he would stay at my place sometimes too. I knew that he had recently broken up with his girlfriend. (about 3 months before we started talking) I was nervous that he was still talking to her but he reassured me multiple times that they were just friends and doing their own thing now. I saw him texting her one night but he once again reassured me that he had no feelings for her anymore. I got over it and decided that i would let my guard down and actually be vulnerable which is usually REALLY hard for me. I had sex with him about a month ago...it was my first time. This past week, I found out that his "ex" was coming to visit him at school. I was so furious and hurt i literally felt sick to my stomach when i found out. I immediately texted him and told him that he was ridiculous and i couldnt believe he was doing this. He hardly even apologized to me. That night, she got on his phone while he was sleeping and texted me pretending to be him. "He" said that they had been talking the entire time and are getting back together. I feel so betrayed and I can't believe that i fell for all of his bullshit. He apologized to me the next morning about sounding like an ******* but didnt even admit to me that she was the one texting me. (he told one of my friends who told me) I told him that his apologies don't mean **** to me and to go **** himself. i had to watch them together all weekend. it was horrible. i know i need to move on but its so hard with no closure...i just want an honest apology and for my heart to stop hurting :(
lucy12344 lucy12344
18-21, F
2 Responses May 8, 2012

If I were you, I would not try to think this person again. Even if he say apology, it does not change his ego. He will probably make things he knows.

You know what, you deserve a regular apology but honestly lets look at the chances of getting one in the near future. Im sure you have heard people say you always want what you can't have. This is one the most honest statements ever. Lets say there are two girls standing side by side that look exactly alike, act the same, and both have an inetrest in the same guy who also shares there feelings. Girl number 1 calls him all the time, texts him, and is alway available when he calls. Girl number 2 answers sometimes but she never calls him and even though she wants to go out with him and feels the same way as girl number 1 she hides it and doesn't make herself to eager. You know who the guy really wants Girl 2, you know why? Because he can't have her, you always want what you can't have. When you see them act like you don't notice, have fun, your not upset and your doing fine. If she sees your bothered by this believe she will rub it in. Don't give her the oppurtunity girlie!! Your better then that, and your obove there childish games, don't let them get the best of you.