Over It But Yet So Sad

I recently broke up with my ex of 3 1/2 years he is an alcoholic. He and I have a 6 month old son together it has only been a week but I can’t stop thinking of him. He drinks 8-10 16oz Budweiser a day there’s not many days he sober anymore. I love him with all my heart but I also have other children and I’m tired of breaking up and getting back together , we all walk on eggshells when he drinks in fear he will get angry. I don’t feel this is the life for children. He has another child who is six but his mother never lets him come around anymore because of his drinking. He promises me that he will slow down and when he does it’s only for few days to a week and he right back at it. He is 34 has no job and plays video games all day long his parents do everything for him from rent to extra cash. I am so devastated that we are apart but somehow I know it’s best. We have physically fought when he’s drunk because he becomes a different person he apologizes time after time but it never last. I guess my question is why am I so hurt and feel so lonely and I know he has physically Abe mentally abused me for over a year now. The last straw is when he put me and my children out of his home( although we have another home we been at his home for several months) and while my daughter was gathering the rest of her things from the bathroom he went in an urinated in the sink she’s 13 that was to much. I know it was because he was drunk but there is no excuse, to make matters worse my brother was there and I’m sure you can understand how my brother felt about this situation so my brother fought him and I have not talked to him since. I just need to know how to get through this it hurts me because he was not always so evil and self centered nor disrespectful his addiction has changed the man I thought I would spend my life with..I’m hurt
Shana31 Shana31
31-35
Dec 5, 2012