Need Some Help For My Wife Please

okay, its a long story but I may have found the issue, I'll explain how we met and go from there.

My wife is currently 24yrs old and I am 28yrs old, We met when she was 17 and I was 21. She had a couple of bf's in high school but nothing really serious, one bf she went out for a year with. When her and I met, things moved very quickly after 3 weeks she said she loved me, after 3 months, she moved in with me.. all went so fast. She Acted out alot, like a spoiled child.. always wanted things her way and her previous bf's she always got it, and that never lasted, with me I stood my ground said yes sometimes, for the sake of peace, but most times I said NO.

She is very sexually active high libido and seemed at first when we met she used it against me.. She only seems to befriend males, as she said her and females do not get along ( she does have female friends thou ) through our relationship she has matured a lot, but at one point she gained some weight and got Alopecia. She still has it but the hair is regrowing. I noticed she makes an emotional attachment to her male friends. Easily finds her self attracted to them, and they always seem to be older, sometimes not much but at one point the man was in his 40s.. once at her parents a family friend was there that she worked with,my wife got drunk and was all over him, hugging and sitting on his lap.. did not look very nice.. now recently her and I were not doing to well.. I was focused on our finances and not giving her much attention, so at work she received attention from another man, he was nice to her, pretended to be interested in her as a friend, asked how I was, what I did and wanted to meet me.. so she felt comfortable being his friend.. but she became attracted to him.. so one day he invited her to come hang out with some friends from work, he then said no one wanted to come why do you not come over while I house sit.. as trusting and naive she is...she went. Well long story short he got her drunk, kept feeding her booze and kissed her just before she was leaving, but she did not stop and kissed him back. shortly after she stopped, called me and said she screwed up and said to pick her up.. I was furious of course.. She did not want to believe she was taken advantage of or that he did nothing wrong.. at one point she admitted she knew he liked her, but did not expect him to do anything but she knew there was a chance and would stop it, but has no idea why she didn't and said she liked it. I know she regrets it a lot... since she changed instantly.

She went after a new career, started to exercise, make me coffee clean more and being very nice..She is also jelouse of her friends, they are pregnant now, and she wants a kid, or she will get upset when one friend hangs out with another and she was not invited, or to a point where some of her friends have more likes on facebook. Her parents growing up were not really there for her, she was caught stealing condoms in gr10, and her dad did ground her, but her friends and bf were allowed to come over. She would be kissing a guy in her basement and her mom would just laugh, or when her and I met we would fool around there and nothing.


Her mom once allowed me to sleep over, but then called her dad and told him she said no, but we did not listen.. Her dad never really taught her anything.. was no role model to her, not much.. when she was 3 he was drunk babysitting and she opened the door to a stranger. She never recalls him saying I love you.. and recently asked if he cared to walk her down the Isle at her wedding and he said it does not matter to him ( we talked about this recently and she burst in to tears)

Her dad pays alot more attention to his son, he is also military and when he is in trouble he is always there to help.. my wife's sister also went through something similar and is with a man who is almost 60 and she is 39.. they met when she was 24 and he was in his 40's.

Her mother always seems to be jealouse of my wife.. feeds her dessert when she is trying to lose weight when she says she does not want any..

To add, my wife never seems happy, always wants to change the rooms around.. buys stuff we do not need, its as if whatever I do its never enough.

When she drinks she becomes very sexual..almost dominating. Actually most times she goes past the comfort zone with other men, is when she had a few too many. The night where the person kissed her, she did drink wine. (Alcohol has been part of her family growing up.) Its as if she was taking any attention she got, weather it be a hug a high five or even a kiss, so that she does not push anyone away, its almost as if she is scared I will leave her and she has some back up just in case her and I go sour.

At first she told me what she did she wanted to and screwed up, but I found that hard to believe as I do not feel its in her nature to be a cheater.. Cheaters are sneaky when they cheat, and not feel remorseful, and call their husband as soon as it happens to be picked up, knowing she would have nothing if I left her and she would be forced to go back to her parents and start from scratch again. Plus she changed a lot after that, and for the good. So can anyone explain this behavior to me.. She knows she has a problem, admitted to it and will be seeing a psychiatrist.. she has no idea why she did what she did and reassures me it will never happen again.

What do you guys make of this ?

If this is in the wrong section you can move it. thank you for taking the time in reading this.
rob1984 rob1984
26-30, M
4 Responses Jan 14, 2013

Daddy issues. It will only improve with a lot of work. Buckle up for a lot of pain. Sorry, just the truth.

she doesnt have any problems, i think....

She looking for a daddy she has daddy issues and she also wants other men she not immature or stupid she knows what she doing any girl knows when your drinking alone with a guy **** happens you cant change her so either get into the fun or.bale out

From what you wrote, it sounds like your wife is very immature for her age. Why does she drink when she knows that she's gonna go all sexual on everyone? I don't think that you can completely blame the alcohol for all of this. Maybe she can't accept the fact that she's growing up and that she can't act out like a teenager.
Here is some advice that I think you really need right now. DO NOT HAVE A BABY WITH HER. She's immature, she drinks too much. She's flirting and hitting on other men as well as get physical with them. She has mood swings and I can promise you that having a baby will make her even crazier than she is now. And when and if she decided to leave, there goes your baby. Bye Bye Daddy!

I know, all this seems like I'm trying to be mean and what now. But look your situation, look at your wife. She makes mistakes, she makes them over and over and over and you have to realize that you might not be able to fix her. She needs to fix herself, wanting a baby today and then wanting to party again tomorrow, this isn't making a smart decision, it's crazy. I'm married and have a baby, and I am young, I don't go out with friends anymore, I don't party, I don't drink, I don't do anything unhealthy because I have a child. I change her diapers 15 times a day, I have to feed her regular meals at a regular time, when she wakes up every few hours, I have to get here and I can tell you that where months where my husband and I had to rock her to sleep for hours because she was tired and screamed and nothing would sooth her. My life as I knew it, was over.
I can handle it and I love her very very much, but from what you have said about your wife, I don't even think that she's mature enough to be married, much less having a child.
I'm sorry that this is so harsh. But there is real world out there, full of responsibilities and you're wife is far far far away from handling that.
You can't help her, she needs to help herself and make a decision. You have accepted way too much and I don't understand why you let her do this to you. No woman is perfect, but you can make damn sure that you get one that makes you more happy than you have ever felt before, that doesn't flirt around, that doesn't cheat, that doesn't act like a spoiled teenage brat. She needs to make a decision and so do you.
Good Luck!