Breeze To Carry The Sound

Locked in my head... why would I burden anyone with the seething blackness inside of me? The result would only be to harm them or alienate myself further. So I keep it chained within, right next to me. The masks we wear. Its so hard sometimes though... to hold these images inside: the feelings, sufferings, and thoughts. Swirling in the nothing inside, I can hardly reign them in.... I smile, the people around me are content... then tears creep out. I joke, they laugh - say I have a dry, dark sense of humor.... the only thing I can give the world: an illusion. This pit of raw self hate - I cannot run away from me... its a contradiction to think I can escape, might as well as try and catch time by the tail. I am tainted, I abhor myself, I wish everyone I know would move on - it would make it easier to hide, make it easier to die.
menschfeind menschfeind
26-30
Jul 17, 2010