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Strong Willed

I hide my depression from everyone and that's why I'm on here. I hat talking about it so I'm not going into detail.
My dad used to beat me, my mom, and my siblings. When I was 12 he beat me with a 4x4 and broke both my arms (which I still have problems with them till this day). When I was 13 he died of an O.D....I was mad it wasn't me that kilt him. My mom fell into a bad depression and got addicted to prescription meds (vicodins,oxycotton,xanaxs). A year later she killed herself I was 14, that same year both my cuzins died one murdered, the other killed himself. A year later my big brother was murdered. When I was 16 my bestfriend who was alwasy there to catch my tears and ride for me when my brother was killed....he was killled in a drive by. 2 weeks after that I tried to kill myself...which failed (I threw up the pills I took) my friend found me passed out and took me to the hospital where I was put on sucide watch for a month. Everything I ever had I lost and was on rock bottom taking all the drugs I could to forget I wouldn't sleep cuz of nightmares. I'm still alive today becuz of my wonderful girlfriend and that I never truely gave up I know they wouldn't of wanted me killing myself and I feel like they protected me that night I ate a whole bottle of anti-depressants. Never give up cuz thing will get darker before they get brighter
cocaineNgirls cocaineNgirls 18-21, M Aug 18, 2012

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