I Hide My Depression From Everyone Who Knows Me
This Is For Me. Possibly only me.
I really am not the writing type. I figured blogging anonymously would be a good way to express my feelings and thoughts that i don't care to share with the people closest to me. you know the feelings I'm talking about?
the ones that make you cry on the way home in the car
keep you up late at night
or wish you could become somebody different.
these feelings are sought to be never felt... so is it wrong to feel them?
i get these feelings from day to day...
from having a long distance first love( i know what your thinking ): )
that after 3 years (and in which of the last one year ive been in a relationship with someone else)but will never get over it and move forward. even though i pretend i have. which is completely unfair.
I'm sure he doesn't think of me. not a bit.
from trying to register for college classes and not having a clue what to do.. feeling like it takes a degree to figure it out..
to feeling dumb for having this depression and not fully understanding it at times..
i am of the middle class.. there really isn't a thing Ive had to go without.but it doesn't mean there wasn't a struggle.. my parents didn't graduate from high school and have had a lot of trouble with having money for bills. Ive had a job since the age of 14 and always helped out. my entire paycheck was given to them. not forced, but because i felt it was my duty to help. just typing this brings on tears because i know how much it hurts them to have to ask for it.
ill continue on this topic later
I really am not the writing type. I figured blogging anonymously would be a good way to express my feelings and thoughts that i don't care to share with the people closest to me. you know the feelings I'm talking about?
the ones that make you cry on the way home in the car
keep you up late at night
or wish you could become somebody different.
these feelings are sought to be never felt... so is it wrong to feel them?
i get these feelings from day to day...
from having a long distance first love( i know what your thinking ): )
that after 3 years (and in which of the last one year ive been in a relationship with someone else)but will never get over it and move forward. even though i pretend i have. which is completely unfair.
I'm sure he doesn't think of me. not a bit.
from trying to register for college classes and not having a clue what to do.. feeling like it takes a degree to figure it out..
to feeling dumb for having this depression and not fully understanding it at times..
i am of the middle class.. there really isn't a thing Ive had to go without.but it doesn't mean there wasn't a struggle.. my parents didn't graduate from high school and have had a lot of trouble with having money for bills. Ive had a job since the age of 14 and always helped out. my entire paycheck was given to them. not forced, but because i felt it was my duty to help. just typing this brings on tears because i know how much it hurts them to have to ask for it.
ill continue on this topic later