I think if you asked anyone who knows me, none of them would be able to tell you that I'm depressed. I tend to hide it rather well and am generally a quiet/shy/aloof/introverted/withdrawn person anyway, so it doesn't really show.

One of my biggest problems is a lack of people in my personal life to talk to about it. I know some people who would listen if I talked to them about it, but they aren't people who need more to worry about in their lives. I'm not interested in forcing them to share my burden.

For those wondering, as it is a common thing to self diagnose, I have been professionally diagnosed and spent time on two anti-depressants. Neither really seemed to help, with one making it hard to sleep at night (a problem I already have) and another causing weight gain (another problem I already have.) I'm not currently taking anything and am just trying to power my way through it.

Probably the biggest way it affects me day-to-day is that it drains my motivation and willpower. Both are finite resources (though they can be replenished) and trying to accomplish difficult things like losing weight and bettering yourself as a person become all the harder when you're hemorrhaging the willpower needed to accomplish them due to depression.

It feels good to get this out even if it isn't to anyone in my personal life. And as sad as it is to see that there are so many of us battling this, at least we know we're not alone.
LockedDarius LockedDarius
26-30, M
Aug 19, 2014