I Lock Myself Away

Whenever I fall into depression, I tend to lock myself away, hiding how I'm feeling from everyone who knows me.

I feel that I will make situations worse if I "bother" people, so I stay inside and don't answer the phone and don't talk to anyone. If my depression lasts through the week days, and I have to carry it with me to work, I am able to suppress it beneath a smile and go through my days without thinking about it. But as soon as I get off work, I reluctantly return back home as if a dark cloud were following me. And again I hide it from everyone.

I love to lend a listening ear to others who need me, and I KNOW others are the same way. But for some reason, I have a hard time asking for that same support that I offer. So I continue to go through my bouts of depression alone, in silence.

CagedRaven CagedRaven
46-50, F
10 Responses Jul 2, 2009

Me too : )

Oh my dear Mimi, I'm so glad you are able to confide in me.

You're not alone, Raven. I have told you far more than I have told my best friend of 30 years.

I know what you mean. And yet friends tell me later that I should have come to them, that they would listen and help me out of the depression. Sometimes I even say that I will call them next time. But I never do.

I do the same thing. I don't want to inflict myself on anyone.

: )

Thanks love, you are a real caring friend. Glad I met you.

I know how you feel. I'm just finally start to ask for help. I'm always here to listen if you need an ear. : )

Thanks mscrazylady, I don't get depressed too often. It's just that when I do, and I let it go unchecked for too long, it's really hard to pull myself out of it without help from someone. Music, cooking and rain are my most often-used anti-depressants.

I think a lot of us are the same in that depression feels so lonely. I don't want to burden others with my whining or complaining, but I would encourage anyone that felt this way to talk it out. Sometimes it helps just to know that someone is hearing you. Best of luck to you! :o)