Always Done It, Its Just Me I Guesswell sure i have always smiled to hide the pain away, its like a reflex. every time something bad happens, BAM
a smile. But another thing is i want to help my friends, i don't want to think about my life, my problems, my fears.
when i help others i stop thinking about my life which helps a lot and also if i cant necessarily have the life i wanted or well its not going so great then i can try and help someone else to do something good in their life. i just hate thinking i guess about my life, lately i have just been denying that anything is wrong with me. well I'm also a little confused right now because i don't know whether to break into tears or laughter's.
But the most important its a shield for me, makes me feel strong that everyone thinks that I'm alright, nothing can bring me down, its this massive barricade no one has been able to get through. a few people have climbed rather high on that wall but never reached the other side, OK yes you could say i lie that I'm happy but i just cant help it, and i cant help it that i have this massive walls around me