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I Just Can't Handel It All

For some odd reason i always hide my pain by smiling, fisicall or emotional . Its like im afraid of something but don't know what mabey its the fact that im actully weak so i act strong. if im sad upset or sick i still smile like no tomorow . I have always semm like the stong type or something to people but i actually am not but i try to match there expetactions it bug me noing so and i go rigth ahead and SMILE i know im liyng to myself but i cant help iiit . To be honest i have 4 personalitys *how i act in school-smile no matter what *how i act around friends- put a fake act *how i act around my family-a fake front hide all emotions from them *and how i act when im alone- its me and i like it the bes
I hardly ever cry even if I do u will never see it , the only reason for someone to see me cring is to control my anger so its not always gonna happen . For sad times I cab cry but on the inside I hate it that I can't ask any one about anithing beacuse I have trust eashus.with my self so how can I trust someone else even If I really want to I really hate it but I'm afraid of only two things , those are ; that I will always stay the same in the trust eishues and ; rejection but then again who's' not?

my life is mest up so theres nothing more to do but smile ! :D
IamME2012 IamME2012 16-17, F 3 Responses Aug 26, 2012

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I know, you could never be yourself around people... but when people let you be yourself around them you should, i don't mean you need permission just to be who you are, but yeaa :)

yeah yeah Rosie just havent found the right moment

what do you mean I haven't found the right momment ???

I am waiting for the right moment that I can feel like im ready to just come out and spill everything out all my secrects . Lift all the weight of my shoulders but u know I have trust eashus rosie

Yeaa !

Thanks for always being there thought one day if I go over to ur house and start crying for no reason plz just let me cry till i'm done !

??? Suree

Thanks lol

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Thanks

Sorry about my horrible misspelling