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I Do It All The Time

At times when I am aching the most in the inside and I see other people wether it be family, friends or strangers I don't want them to see my feelings.. meaning I don't want them to see how much pain I am in so I do I hide behind a smile. and then just go somewhere where I can be alone for a while and just try to get back to normal. I am usually a happy person and I love to stay that way but you can't blame me for been a human being I have those feelings sometimes too. I remember when my grandmother died my mother was crying for her mom while told me... it hit me so hard because I was so close to her and I never got to say good bye.... I wanted to cry so badly but I didn't I didn't really smile but I tried to calm my mother down by saying is ok, is part of life and I will help you get thru it. Then I went to my room locked the door and cried for hours.... the next day I cut school, I ran away and just cried... my parents didn't know. A few months later my mother asked why I never cried..... And well as my point goes I don't let anyone see how I truly feel I hide behind a smile or something at times.
sakura9 sakura9 18-21 3 Responses Oct 18, 2012

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When I kick your ***, then you know meaning of crying. LOL

whattttt??? you don't know me. No one has done that, only i have been the one to do it, doesn't matter if your a boy or a girl... u will never make me cry.. so shush ur mouth dude


showing emotion is for most a sign of weakness more so being a man as I am but I am also a cancer and am very emotional it is like my emotions are the water just below a thin sheet of ice they are there but not to be shared with any and then I feel the cracks and have to be alone when the ice breaks I can connect with what you say

I know that feeling all to well, but my eyes always give me away

mmm ya same here.... its hard to control the eyes... haha

Oh come on. You know how to work those bad boys! Bet you crush the fellas with those puppies!

hahaha I don't try honey

I am vulnerable too sometimes believe it or not :P haha

There is no try. Only do or not do
......and you do

I believe. Are you okay today?

yesss i agree :) and yeah just a off day today u know?

Oh. I am the king of off days. Today was one of many. Carved an arsenic load of pumpkins today. That was the highlight.

hmm well i love to carve pumpkins :) its relaxing lol today well i was hoping i could go out and i got all dressed up and everything been sweetest day or whatever i never celebrate it but everyone in my that i know is celebrating and that one person i was waiting for to even call never did so i came back to bed and here i am :P

Ahhh sorries. I would start drunk ep-ing and stir up some fun then. Full **** up. Ill call em for you and smack some sense into them, yes?

haha u always make me laugh :) yess that would be wonderful lol

I have that effect on scorps. Hehe. Okay your friend is in my trunk. Grab a bat. Were going to have some fun

omg hahaha yeah our sense of humor is kinda scary to other people but to us is too funny... ur great ;D and sure i got my stuff

Half the fun of a good sense of humor is scaring the **** out of "normal " peeps like the one in my trunk. Ready to let him out?

hahahah I am dying of laughter :P yeahh seriously those people do not understand what good things are lol

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