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I Hit The Woman I Love

Well I have been in love with this woman for 2 years and we planned on spending the rest of our lives together.  We have had problems just as any relationship has, but we always get through it and come out stronger and still happy. 

Well on this day I was watching her daughter and her sister's three kids...great day and then she called to check up on them but her sister was already here to pick them up.  She calls back and accuses me of liking her 2 sisters, which might I add is ridiculous.  This really upset me and she began to just keep it going and going. 

She left the house and went somewhere, which was fine, but when she came home we didnt speak and she went right into the bedroom.  Well I went in there toget a pillow because I decide to sleep on the couch and that became an argument too.  She popped up out of bed and begin to try to fight me saying "hit me hit me"  so I push away and say over and over again "look stop you know I don't do that".  The next thing I know she slapped me in the mouth and without hesitation I slapped her back.  She came back at me and I put her on the ground and took her out of the room becaus ethe babygirl was sleeping in there.  She then began to cream at the top of her lungs and held her down and told her to stop...but she didnt so i covered her mouth. 

She called the cops and when they asked what happened she just said we were arguing and wanted me gone.  They didnt tell me to leave because we are both on the lease and she got some stuff and her daughter and left.  I haven't seen her in a week, I miss her and her daughter, and to be honest i am ashamed and absolutely disgusted with myself.  I love her with all of my heart and soul.  I have never hit a woman before and I never will again. 

How do I make it up to her, how do I let her know I still love her, how do I let her know I will never do that again?  I am so sad about this situation and I wish I can go back and just walk away.  Not seeing her beautiful face for a week has been torture.  Somebody please give me some advice.

phillyman78 phillyman78 31-35, M 13 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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Legally, you're in the wrong. Well legally you both are. Personally, she's a psycho and I feel sorry for you.

No wonder no one posts here since 2009 because there is a bunch of self-righteous idiots beating up on anyone who comes here seeking for answers and help, or just wanting to have a place to say something to be able to think through it.



I find this situation strange. I feel she is crazy. I mean I understand you love her, but in what you describe she seems right out crazy. Of course she provoked you, of course she started the fight, getting physical, hitting you first.



As you put her on the ground and to your bedroom, it would be the perfect scene for a passionate sex to ensue, this would be wonderful. But alas she starts calling cops and leaving. This means that she must have some deep anger about you or is just crazy.



I don't think you should apologize (know it's too late, you did already what you did, curious to know how it plaid out). You should not because you did not escalate it, you clearly tried to withdraw from the agitation, and she came after you and provoked you, and put up a trap for you.



This either shows that she wants you to become a man and give her more attention and deal with her more firmly, or it means she is mean and crazy setting up traps and accusing you later. I do not like that police trap she set. This is just wrong.



I think you two should seek counseling, I do not think you should profusely apologize. You are not her slave whom she can slap around and then ***** against you with the police. You love her but does she love you? You guys need to find out. Counseling can help.

Hey, if you have remorse and you make up for it, good for you. It's not a nice thing what you did. I don't condone it but if you're trying to make up for it ..... *shrug* it's the only thing you can do now.

I think you just made a mistake, all people do, it'll take you a long time to forgive yourself and thats good that you realize that you can't just say its ok then its ok.



You are a human being my friend, not a god, everyone has there moments where they go against everything they believe and will probably never live it down, normally I hate when people hit women, but I understand you didn't do it because you felt she deserved it or because you thought its ok to abuse women, you did it out of the spur of the moment, and sometimes we can't control that. And holding her down, that wasn't hitting, she was going insane and you didn't want your daughters to see this, It's not like you were trying to hold her down and beat the hell out of her, I hope you wife forgives you and unlike everyone here, I'm not gonna call you evil for making a mistake.



And on another note, accidentalsoul has the mental capacity of a child, so don't worry about him claiming you deserve no forgiveness, I'm sure he's done much worse things in his life.

this man? this man is a human being,

he has emotion

what happen if you are push and push and push,

do you think he can stand it?

i know am only seventeen but i know whats right and whats wrong,

that man was mental and physically abuse, before he did something.

you should apologize accidentalsoul

i think you should try to find your feet mate

take up a sport like siwmming,running, that can help alot.

I do not want or expect sympathy at all. I regret what I did and I actually feel ashamed, very ashamed. You are right I showed no self-control at all, which is inexcusable. Regardless if she hit me or not I should not have reacted that way....now with that said, and with the fact that I have already scheduled some anger management counseling...will someone objectively give me some advice...becuase this is the woman I love

You honestly matt stop letting this man make exuses for being irresponsible and not using self control.

You will get no sympathy from me, nor will I apologize for giving my opinon.

sut-up

leave him alone, its not his falt

the girl was pushing his buttons

making him angry, she hit him before, its not his falt



mate poeple just dont understand how you feel

if that was me it would feel like torture,

am not saying its right hitting a girl

but its not right if a girl hits you.



you will get over it over some time, but try to be with your family more, talk to them about it.

Both of you are equally responsible for what happened. If you really do care for her try talking to her sisters about what happened if she doesn't want to, try and talk things over with her, apologize.

You are sad feeling sorry for yourself expect sympathy from anyone for hitting one you love my god... thats damn low...

I suggest have a good look in the mirror damn your selfish no self control sorry I hate violence and to a woman how cowardly...

You deserve what you get...