I Hit My Girlfriend

Today I pushed my girlfriend and hit her.  I am so ashamed. This is not the first time I've done this, but I want it to be the last. I don't want to lose her emotionally and/or  physically. We often bicker amongst one another, but in sort of a playful type of  way, and it can often times lead into arguments. I often times say that it is she who starts the arguments, and iI really do feel that way. I hate arguing  unless there is really some meaning to the situation. We argue and she will do things that she knows will anger me and in an instant I explode. I hit her and I feel awful as soon as I've realized what i've done it hurts me to see what I have done, I feel disgusted and ashamed. So it switches from her as the aggressor to me and then in the end I'm the bad one. I really don't consider my self an abuser, because I just don't come home and start hitting on her because dinners not ready, I dont black her eye , but i have gotten really rough. It dosen't happen often but it has more than once. I need and want help.

Tembel81 Tembel81
26-30, M
3 Responses Mar 8, 2010

I have this same problem, the trick is not to escalate the situation. When you start arguing with her and she starts being stubborn and combative, leave it. If you go on pressing your point and she refuses to back down things can get ugly really fast. The thing is women don't understand what they're saying when they get in your face. They weren't raised in the guy "pecking order" hierarchy mentality. They don't get that they're begging for a physical confrontation. Stand your ground with silence and inattention. Eventually they'll come around.

you don't have to consider yourself an abuser, but you hit and pushed (abused) your girl friend. i am glad you realize what you are doing os wrong. and as someone in that same kind of relationship, our playful bickering more often turns into a real argument, and we both think the other really started it. that the other is to blame. but we are both responsible for our actions and reactions. just as you are responsible to how YOU react to when she pushes your buttons. you really should talk to someone about this, a professional. get help. your girlfriend does not need this type of relationship. and even if you don't consider yourself an abuser, you are. and it's not that in the end "you're the bad one" you just should not ever hit a woman unless of course she is hitting you with her fists and boots and throwing things at you. even then, i think it is ideal to LEAVE before tempers explode..

Hang in there...maybe u should get therapy...to face the problem