Christmas And New Years Holiday

My father was an alcoholic. The holiday time was filled with apprehension and anxiety. As a child, it left a horrible imprint. I dread the holiday season now and nothing seems to be able to allow me to feel a joy during this time. I only want to see January 2 arrive, it is truly a shame. I do not want to feel the sadness, but I can't seem to find a key to putting the past behind me. I want to feel a child's joy of the holidays.
rbknh7 rbknh7
56-60, M
Dec 16, 2012