Late Night Snacks

This is a grubby story of filth and grime.
A repulsive subject, a smorgasbord of illtaste.
Its a story of the past that merits viewer discretion and a strong constitution. It has repulsive elements that can turn the stomach and leave one feeling quite ill. It holds out a tale of mystery and culinary disgust, excitement and intrigue. This is not for the faint hearted.
I was married and happily living in a suitable interesting home in the country. We where a young family living and popping out babies with a nice life in a rural setting of self planted fruit trees, free roaming chickens and regular walks on beaches nature tracks and parks. Life was good. We had our last child in 1993 and it was a girl, Lydia Rosetta, a lovely little baby.   
Being a house of 5 children aged five and under, a regular necessity was to keep up with the vile job of cleaning packed shatted nappies which i took on with robust dedication as a responsible father.   This is truly a disgusting part of child rearing. I knew this time would eventually come to pass.
A hygienic policy we developed was to store the crapped in nappies in a sanitary bucket just outside the back door awaiting the clean out operation. This was a necessary and regular activity for us as parents. 
One day we arose in the morning and saw a disturbing sight out the back yard which left us bewildered and deeply concerned. The contents of the Nappie bucket had been raided during the night, cacked in nappies lay strewn over the lawn with the majority of their fruitage gone. Gad what vile human could of been responsible for this. It couldn't of been the wife's mother as she lived 10 miles away in Karangahake and didn't like driving thru the gorge in the dark.    .
This started to become a regular occurrence. Not every night but once or two or three times a week. It was a real head scratcher for us and we wernt going to bring the filthy stinking nappy bucket back inside to our inner laundry area. Possums or rats couldn't of been responsible for this we figured. There was never any visible pack wolves or ogres roaming our out of town property that we ever noticed, but something was sneaking in and pigging on our babies nappy turd in midnight hours of darkness. 
Id had enough of this and resolved that it must stop.
Amongst all the tools and junk i had in the separate garage out the back lay an ingenious device id picked up at a garage sale for a small price. It was an electronic pulse shock wave unit that farmers attach to there wire fences to dissuade cattle from pushing against and breaking through their allotted area.
I concocted a plan of action. 
A night that we expected a visit from this midnight raider, i set up the zanger zapper unit, plugging it in to where the washing machine got its power. I ran a thin wire from it at about bucket height to a small plastic insulator id nailed into the back porch wooden banister.  The wire was taught and it wove itself through some pretty darn inviting urine cack stinking food stuffs for a turd thief. Wrapped chocka full nappies all around this self defense apparatus. I hosed the concrete floor of the porch area at night for maximize good earthing ability. I was starting to thinks to myself this must be a biscuit bored dog carnivorous warewolf grazing on the goods.  
The evening came to an end and it was time for wife and i to retire for the night. I set the electronics to full grunt and went off to bed. The first night no bites. But the 2nd night justice was served with a Mt. Saint Hellen's fireworks display of sudden and tastey armagedos retribution like dog smacked in gob by  swinging demolition wreckers ball.   Up the road lived a dedicated pig hunter who had a mean little beast dog that couldnt be allowed to roam during daylight hours for fear of dog ranger raids.  Animals like this had to be caged.   He would release it at night to seek out its pack wolf fun and adventures under the cover of darkness.
The wife and i lay waiting with ears finely tuned for any sound of activity coming up our driveway. We whispered quietly to each other and i heard paw claws and pads trotting up through and under our carport just outside our window. ...silence,... then the sudden sound of a hot mass being thrust back against the wall of the porch. The house trembled and creaked.  A muffled gurgle and thrashing tongue teeth and eyeball glowing sound filled the chilly hallways. Delirium panic, the running head first into strainer posts with mouth salivating white electronic shock noises.    Definite loss of four legged traction in frantic retreat back out the driveway.   50 meters of delarious flurescant light scampering  yelping beast repentance sounds all the way doon Gladstone road homward to yon bonny Moores.
                                               Vengence be a sweet dish on ye pallet.
lafsnack lafsnack
51-55, M
4 Responses Jan 7, 2013

cute pics of ur children

did you kill the some beach

Are you asking if i killed the son of a mahoke??

lol yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

no it just happened that doggy wrapped his wet tongue and teeth into a cow stopping ellectrical current whilst shop lifting kaka from a stinking turd bucket and fully earthed himself with four precious paws on a wet concrete back porch. Standing on one foot in a rubber gumboot gave a bad enough belt to a human, so doggy would was thus smacked backwards clean through a fibrolite wall into houndog hadies to play fetch with lucifer. He lived thru the tad unenjoyable experience probably only to see ultra violate light for the rest of his pig hunting days.
We Never had any nappie troubles again after that.

You have a real flair Ralphie

Thankyou Oscar

loved it

Yay at last some one has enjoyed it. I had a great time writing it.