Sad Day

So last night (Friday,) I went to a party at my best guy friend's house. There were only about 10 people there, it wasn't a huge party, but we all got pretty drunk. Now as I said, the guy throwing the party was my best friend, and of course, as it happens, I'm madly in love with him.
At about 10:00, we went outside to get some air. I was sitting on some steps with him, and he started tearing up a little. I asked him what was wrong, and he said he broke up with his girlfriend. I put my arms around him and we talked about it for a bit. Suddenly, he sat up, took my hand, and led me around to the very back of his house. He started telling me how much he's always liked me, and that he's always been too afraid to tell me. Then, of course, because we were pretty drunk, we started making out. Every minute or two he would pull away and smile at me, tuck some hair behind my ear or something, and then go back to kissing me. After about 5 minutes, we went back inside. We sat on the couch together, and he asked me out. I said yes, and we started making out again, this time on his couch in front of a bunch of people. For a few hours after that, we just sat together. He would run his fingers though my hair, or across my lips, and it just felt so good. At one point, his head was in my lap, and we did that spider man kiss, upside-down. Then we went to his spare room and started making out again, on the bed. It was quite sweet, nothing happened, but as we were making out I could feel myself falling more and more in love. I slept at his house that night.
The next morning, we talked about it and he said he meant everything he had said the night before. Before I left, we made out again, we were both sober this time. Earlier tonight, I got a text from him saying he was sorry but he couldn't do a relationship right now because "as much as he likes me, he has to get his feet on the ground." Now I'm extremely sad, because I was so in love with him before the party even happened, and now it's even worse. It sounds really bad, but I feel like there's an empty space in my chest. I feel so much physical, mental, and emotional pain. I don't know what to do. He won't answer my texts or anything. I feel so dumb because we were just stupid teenagers that hooked up one night, but now the sadness is eating me away, I can't even explain it. It's like, for a few hours I had exactly what I wanted, and then it was ripped out of my hands.
theemily theemily
18-21, F
Dec 2, 2012