One Day I Hope to Love Again

The past few years have really pulled the rug out from under me, and meeting the needs of others has been my priority.  But the past is the past, and I am surprised to discover that there is a side of me that has not totally given up on love with someone again some day.

My ex and I split up in '06, and he died in '08, and I have not been with anyone since.  I have not even considered looking for love or seeking out companionship.  I have been trying to work through my own grief and loss, and had put all thoughts of love and romance far from my mind.  But I feel as if my heart (and body) are slowly beginning to unthaw.  I can almost remember how it feels to walk hand in hand through a crowd with someone I love, how it feels to walk along the beach with somebody, letting the sea breeze whip my hair into a tangle and not even care because the man I love will still look at me with love in his eyes.  I remember the visceral pull deep inside that I felt when my beloved walked into the room, even after all those years.  I want to feel that tug at my heartstrings again.  I want to believe in love, that feeling of coming home when we come together.

I had thought that my chance at love was gone for good, but maybe somewhere in this world, somebody is out there who is looking for somebody just like me, not perfect, a little crazy, sometimes silly, but always kind and loyal.  And maybe life will reveal him to me someday soon.   And maybe this time, I'll be ready.

 

suigeneris suigeneris
41-45
Mar 17, 2009