Marriage Troubles

I have been married for 20 years and i dont want another 20 years like the first 20. I dont think i can take this but I'm scared because i have lupus and fibromyalgia and icant work full time. I hzve 3 kids and i pretty much have to count onmy husband for financial stuff. I'm trying to make it until my youngest who is 13 graduates but I'm not sure if i can because I'm misserable. I can't stand the way he breathes and thats bad. He just wants mebecause he thinks I'm pretty. He has a bad temper andthinks that yelling at the kids will make them mink him but guess what, now ouf middle one yells. He has told me he loves me and doesnt want me to ever leave him but we have no5hing in common. Not money not pollitics not rzising kids not sports not to mm uch of anything really. Everytime he joins the kidsand me when w e r playing a sport, he always ends up tryin to tell everybody how to do it orrectly. He thinks he knows everything and it drives me insane. He never works out but i have worked out all my life and yest he stills tries to tell me the proper form in doing anything. I tell him that i know how to do it and to leave me alone and his response is I'm just trying m to help. I say i dont need help and to just let me and the kids have fun. Hes alw ays serious and nes just not a happy person. Hes always unhappy about something and ive told him that perhaps hes depressed and he always blames everybody else. He was raised with the same dad that i was, angry mad blaming full of excuses. I eseessentially married jy dad. My therapist says its because thats what I know and grew up with. That its familiar to me. Great thats just wonderful. I need to talk to adults about this. If i divorce him hell tear me apart and do it to hurt me. He will nkot let go, he follows me around like hesglued to me. Very sad and i wish i could get out.
kristine01 kristine01
46-50, F
Jan 15, 2013