My Wife Cheated On Using Facebook, I Forgive Her But...

 Obviously there was more to it than facebook, I have a long term illness and she was not getting the attention she needed. 

She was able to hook up with an old high school "friend" skumbag who listened and did whatever else it took to get into her pants. After the sex, "he doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up her family.Yeah, he already got what he wanted. Check off the sexy cheerleader from high school he never thought he would nail. I accept responsibility for my part, and forgive her for hers. This was her first time in 16 years, I didn't ask she volunteered the info. I don't know if they used protection, should of asked I guess,no point now. We lived together platonic for the 6 months or so they were communicating, He lives far away, she only made it up there once, I guess, I didn't ask. I guess I don't want any details, I have a very hard time picturing my wife with anyone else,actually I can't do it. And when I find myself trying I just stop myself. I know it happened I am not in denial over that fact. I just was so miserable without her affection. Now we talked, kissed and made up. We are back together and taking it slowly, I want to communicate better so we don't end up right back in trouble. When I think about the other guy, I just think "hey, I was with people before her, she was with people before me, this guy had a way in, he knew her from high school. Not just some guy off the street, I think that would have been worse. But she is still nuts with this facebook thing, I got a page and am trying to join in. But seeing it all the time makes me think about her cheating, I refuse to worry about it happening again, she and all her **** would be on the lawn same day. Am I on the right track ? sex is weird too. I guess that's normal.

michael8686 michael8686
11 Responses Feb 27, 2009

Same here, wife of 35 years gets contacted by old HS friend, a week later they are sexting like teenagers.
I don't know if I am lucky yet as when I found out and confronted her, she told me that she needed time to think. She thought that he'd come and rescue her. He didn't, so she decided to stay with me.

My story is almost identical to yours. Old HS friend, out of town, hooked up once...It has been a year and a half and while it still kills me, and always will I think, I have come to truly believe that while we were going through a rough patch, this serial cheating other guy told her everything he needed to to get her in bed. She is truly not that kind of person. I really do think that she lost her mind for 2 months and regrets it, looks at it like it was the biggest fuckup ever and will always be faithful in the future. But i DO check everything, phone records, computer history, chat #s, etc.!

After finding out that my wife has been talking with my Nephews friend a lot I got suspicious so I kept an open eye …. And I was right 86 pages of messages going back four months, in which she admits to other encounters with so called friend of the family . This Guy Plays her but she imitates a lot to the point that I just want to puke …. We have four kids two are serving in the armed forces and my daughter is 15 my younger son is 12 . after confronting her with some of the evidence she says its just harmless fun she doesn’t know I have EVERYTHING WORD FOR WORD .. I’ve seen a lawyer and know what I have to do. When she looks at me I stare back. Her eyes stay steady her ex<x>pressions don’t change …. She’s gone too far for me to even try to save this relationship After 25 year of marriage aim DONE!!!!! I need to focus on my last two kids because she is not at this point ….. Iam strong nd will move on just sucks it had to be this way..

damn well add me to the mix facebook 101 my wife found her boyfriend from middle school fing middle school married 4 together for 12 .I found out from friends that worked at a ice cream shop.Dont know how long its been going on.Im trying to work it out but pain is too great the pictures dont help nor does the fact my son know his name and she still contact him with his number still in her phone and pictures I cant go to jail i will lose all i have left Lord help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

facebook is not the problem, the deceitful ways of our spouses and significant others have used fb is the problem. i am also a victim of facebook cheating....cheating no matter how its done is a selfish act. It is also the cowardly way to deal with issues within your current relationship. Rather than bring those issues to light, these cheaters believe the answers are found between the legs of another.

I thought I was alone. I'm not the only one who watched a long term marriage fall apart. So sorry for all of you. The selfishness is unbelievable. The sad thing is, the affairs don't last! The thrill wears off, the naughts little e emails and text messages stop, and the cheater is left alone. The sad thing is the wake of wreckage they leave. Will they ever realize how much they hurt their spouse and children?

Nope, becuase they dont need to realize. They are all about themselves.

Dear Penthouse, I NEVER thought it would happen to me!! Wow!! I was married for 22 years and am now getting a divorce form her due to cheating with a facebook friend. It was a guy from high school. I have 2 young daughters, 7 and 10 that are wondering why their little lives have been torn apart. I knew the night she first went out what was going on. It was to be a big group outing but not one post about it after it happened, not from her or anyone. Then the everyday for the last 22 years stuff started to change, not coning to bed, the going out, closing the bathroom door, never being naked around me kind of stuff. I checked her cell bill on line one day, 100's of texts, a ton of calls during the day, 3 and 4 hour phone calls. I could go on and on, it seems like we all know what happened/happens. Because of my small girls, WE, decided to act at though nothing was going on for their sake, just so they could get through school, then we'd tell them. It was 8 months of hell. They moved out about 2 months ago, It KILLS me to not be with my 2 girls. I talk to them a couple of times a day, have them every other weekend as well as Thursdays and Fridays. She has me over a barrel as I am not working and only getting unemployment. I'll still fight tooth and nail for my girls. I'll sell, borrow, and steal to pay my attorney. It sucks we are all in this place, but here we are. I call facebook the home of infidelity as well as, facebook, where most marriages end.

Facebook is evil,my wife hooked up with her old high school boyfriend

I can't believe this is so common, my wife left me and my 3 boys in New Zealand to go back to England to see her sick father but I could never contact her. After a rather upsetting email telling me to leave her alone I started to look into her emails. She had been emailing a school friend via Facebook that she hadn't seen in 30 years and had moved in with him within a week of being in the UK. I have known her 28 years, lived with her 26 years and been married 23 years. You think you know someone pretty well after this amount of time, the marriage was very good in my eyes we spent a lot of time together, weekends away etc. she had her own business in New Zealand which she closed down within a month of being back in England. The children have taken it real bad and the eldest 2 do not want to speak to her and the youngest thinks he has done something wrong for her to abandon him. Mid-life crises! in time, after this 'holiday' period I think reality will hit her hard but I don't expect, and would not want her back. If this doesn't work out for her in with this old school friend I expect she will move on to someone else and remain in England but what will my boys think of her when they are adults and will they ever forgive her?

As a therapist be as truthful with them as you can with as much tact as you can. Lying to them about it is the wrong way to go because they always find out sooner or later and then you run the risk of them being mad at you for lying. The sad thing is at some point she's either going to realize what a huge mistake she made and try to come back there or she's getting herself settled to try and get the kids back with her.

I to am in the process of losing my wife of 24 years due to a facebook affair with a high school boy friend. We are going to counseling but it does not seem to be working. I have had my heart ripped out and don't want to lose my wife and best friend but it is looking to be the end result. All from some smooth talking piece of trash the took advantage of a situation.

So did you wife though. She is the same.

i am in the same situation. we were married 17 years and she hooked up with her old high school boyfriend through facebook. he is getting divorced and has 3 kids

Thank you for your candor, it made me think. We are both flight attendants for different airlines. So it wasn't the flying as much as the lying that hurt me. I am trying to give her the attention she needs so she won't have to go elswhere to get it. Also we have 2 children to consider. as for the cheating... this is going to sound awful, and it's more than looks but even at 40 my wife is drop dead gorgeous. I have often been told I have movie star good looks. when we go out together people always look at us figuring we must be famous. This high school guy was good looking in high school. Now he's bald as a cue ball and paunchy, the sex had to be painful for her ( in the dark for sure) I have cancer and I look 10 times better than this guy, plus I work out 5 times a week. I had too many chances to cheat working on an airplane with mostly women. I didn't because I had a beautiful wife at home that I love dearly. And believe me, all that stuff they say about flight attendants...mostly true. I guess I would rather take the gut check than start over, try to learn from it. Take it slow. I think I can forgive once, hurts though. I know looks are just good luck, neither of us have ever had anything 'done' My wife does seem to treat hers like a sense of entitlement, it gets her what she wants I guess. Maybe I'm an *** who will get what he deserves, time will tell

Hmmm, tread lightly and dont trust anything she does

I dont think shes worth your time... Me and My fiance barely get to see each other.. But that doesnt make an excuse to go out and cheat.. she Obviously Had enought will to travel to this guy just to ****.. or whatever.. remember... at one point before they had sex.. she thought of you... and at one point She decided that sex was worth it... She was saying sex is more important than YOU... she was saying sex was more important than your marrige.. I dont mean to be so blunt.. But honestly... Its true... Think about it... A girl who can cheat once... Can always cheat again.. Obviously her loyalty isnt her strong point.. goodluck!

So true. Best post Iv seen on this depressing *** website.