Gone

I have to say, one of the most avoid subjects in today's society is Death, at least from my experiance. My father died when I was 13 years old after struggling for years with colon cancer. It... it was a hard expereance, but one I am grateful for years later. My father was an amazing person. I could never even wish for a better parent, a more caring and ingenous father that what I had. And I was lucky, I know that. Two parants who loved each other dearly, who had an excellent education and were both teachers at a University. They are the reason why I am who I am today. But that is also why, when my father died in ICU, it hit no one harder then my mother. I hope no one would ever have to see what I saw weeks and months after his death. There is a saying, that no parent should see their child die. Well, no child should have to see the saddess left in the living family. It was then that I decided, that the pain of other people was harder to watch then suffer through my own, or should I say, it was harder for me to watch the pain in my mother then it was to deal with my own.

                People alway remain quiet after I say that my father is dead. Then they apologize. I don't understand that. I can see they want to offer something, so comfort and give, but why apologize? It was not their fault that my father was dead, right? But what can we say as people to griving people? As a subject that is usually avoided, people are stumped and mystified as to why such a thing happened. I understand and understood when my father died, that death is indeed something very real. It lurks around us, softly stealing in and taking what is the most important thing to us before it could ever be concidered important.

               I can't tell you that I am over my father's death, and most likely never will. But I wish for you to understand that death does happen and it is real. But it is so that ,we, as his family, celebrate his life more then when he was alive. Someone once said that one does not truly die until he is forgotten. As long as I live, my father will live in me. The lessons he taught me both in life and in death with remain with me forever, a long with the hole that his leaving left as well. 

           I guess what I want to say, is that death is nothing to fear, for in the end we will all die: either in a specaular way or quietly it is bounded to happen. Death is not a subject to be avoided nor feared. I love to talk about my father, to tell stories of what he did and recall fond memories becuase to me, that is what is keeping him alive.

           Live well, and peace to you.

Tearofanangel Tearofanangel
18-21
1 Response Mar 19, 2009

You know when you told me I was guilty of that. Even to this day I try not to talk about death with you because I don't want to make you sad. I guess that's not the case.