Society Should Never Excuse Abuse Of Children

Maltreating children is the worst action that can be done. Better give them up for adoption than do such harm to them. Usually, unfortunately, adults who treat children badly are uninformed adults, with limited intellectual abilities, who were themselves victims of bad treatments. Everybody in those sad, sad stories needs a lot of help...and are usually not getting it until it is too late.
Sure, as parents we all have good or bad days. Women forced to stay at home with the kids freak out. Fathers who have to work outside come home and find that the constant shrieking and movement is kind of disturbing...and there's not even the freely available sexual release that wifey provided when the two of them were alone. Now wifey's a Mom, she's tired, and the least of her worries is providing sexual release or anything else for her man...actually she'd want him to give her a few hours of freedom in order to wind down. Nobody's prepared parents to discover by themselves that being a parent is a non-stop job, all day, every day, and for at least twenty years if you wanna do it well. Not even mentioning that some of the money you wanted to use for going out is going to go...into bottles and diaper packs.
But this does not exonerate people who crack. Physical abuse of children, beatings and spankings, blows and slaps, should be a no-no from day one. No physical violence, ever. You can kill a newborn by shaking it, remember? You can break a toddler's arm by dragging it a little too hard. One of my children will forever carry the memory of Indian burns his grandma did to him, for whatever bizarre reason (she did the same to me).
Yes, screaming and telling things in a loud voice is not necessarily nice. But it doesn't maim or hurt. It makes it clear to children that some things require more vocal responses. And that physical violence is never resorted to, whatever the high intensity of vocal exchanges, between parents, or between parents and kids. Yes, such exchanges are sometimes unbearable. But they neither maim nor kill. One of my children had to learn not to bite his siblings. He did. He's still aggressive sometimes, that's his obvious nature, but...in words. And it happened less and less as he was growing up. Being the 2nd or 3rd in a family is not easy. You have to learn to defend yourself and respond to excessively authoritarian behavior not only by parents, sometimes, but by your older siblings, often. You have to learn not to bite, though. Or fight. Or kick.
Yes, children can be obnoxious, unbearable, and downright bizarre. Another one of my kids would curl up on the floor - anywhere - when she was unhappy about something and start shrieking. Yes, when it happens at the local fast food and you're in line, you'd wish you were somehwere else at those times. And yet...if you're a normal parent, you know that these tantrums are usually few and far between if the kid is happy, well-fed, well cared for, and if you play with them a lot, because children grow through play and good social intercourse.
Abuse, whatever its cause and whatever its form, is unacceptable. It turns children who were healthy in the first place into maladjusted adults, who are quite likely to repeat the abuse themselves. All serial killers were abused as children - luckily all absued children do not become serial killers, but they will tend to repeat the behavior they have been growing up with. A major social problem.
For a child, family is the only safe place. A safe place against abuse by other kids, by overly disciplinarian school staff, by unpleasant adults in the neighbourhood, etc... If this safe place is not a safe place any longer, they have nowhere to go, except inside themselves, and they will become, at the very least, lonely and maladjusted adults. Meanwhile, parents will discover as time goes by that time goes by fast, childhood goes by with the speed of a runaway freight train, and they should enjoy the years of their kids' early childhood like a wonderful world that will never ever come back, but may come back to haunt everyone if it is mismanaged...
Society may explain child abuse. Unfortunately, because it exists. However, collectively, we should never ever excuse it. 
Sekhmet96 Sekhmet96
61-65, M
Sep 7, 2012