I hurt myself because I know I deserve it. The voices in my head, tell me that I deserve to cut myself, that I have to punish myself for being a horrible person. Its my fault that I am just how I am, and I am the one who has to pay for it.


I cut myself, I burn myself. I starve myself. Its how I deal with things, and its how I punish myself for being me. I know that I am suppose to hurt myself. I know that I am a terrible person, who needed to be punished for everything.


I hurt myself, because I deserve it. I deserve to punish myself, to make myself pay for my mistakes. Its how I deal with it all. I cut myself, for being ughly. I burn myself for being stupid, and I starve myself for being fat.


Everyone else hurts me too, they say hurtful words, they abonde me, when they promise not to. It proves to me, that I am suppose to be in pain, I am suppose to hurt, its what I get for being a terrible person.

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7 Responses Dec 6, 2009

I think you need psychological and mental help ..<br />
There's just a point where words doesn't really have a much of an effect any more , or power , as they used to's all what's going on in your head .. sometimes words and kind care from someone could help you through it .. sometimes they become just so vain .. so my only advice , try every way outta this .. and see what is the best way , that ACTUALLY works for you, and continue it till you feel better !..

Remember, no one is perfect... everyone does things that are less than ideal. We have all been there. Its because you care. Love your imperfections and stay away from those that dont. Hugs. are a younger version of me. *hugs*

Yes, bravo for being strong enough to state out in the open what so many have locked inside their heads.

AP and amyMM know what they are talking about. Listen to them and remember that you are someone unique. If you need someone to talk to, those two or I am ready to help.

Aly, did you know that Jesus suffered for all our sins and for all our pain so we wouldn't have to?<br />
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You only need close your eyes and ask him to help you through this terrible time you are having and he will comfort you and bring you peace.<br />
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It is the peace you need, whilst enduring the pain on this earth.<br />
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amyMM's words are those of a very wise lady who has been in the same space you are now. Listen to her, she knows.<br />
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hugssssssssssss<br />

*stop readin for my test coz i want to tell u:<br />
words r powerful n i realize what we say effect others''i hurt myself coz i deserve it''we do the same like someone else told us eg when we were kids...we transfer words to someone else minds.ppl read what we write n some of them will save the words in their minds.i don say is bad to say how u feel ok?i do that many times (unfortunately)but i realized it n i wouldn want to take responsibility of tellin someone through my posts'hurt urself coz u deserve it'..u don say that ok?but ppl while readin will wonder''if she say that then i must deserve it too.''thats why i ll b more careful with my stories.hope u don misunderstand..i love u ok aly?hugs*<br />
now read n say many many times:I feel i have to hurt myself coz i feel bad.but thats how i feel i ll wait with patience n pray to find peace in my mind n heart.the voices of the past/or presence with time will vanish,if not i ll b strong,i have angels by my side.bad things happen but i have patience n im willing to try find peace no matter how i feel.*<br />
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many hugs*i have to go back to study now*love u very much