I Can't Sleep.

Curled up. Trying not to wake my roommate.
But I'm breaking.
Shaking.
It's too much. I want to scream. Or run away. Drowning, lungs hindered by attempts to stifle the cloudburst. Like the ocean is in my throat. Wrapped around my tongue.
Mind is foggy. And my spine is clenching.
Stomach stretching.
Retching.
A lurking thought meets the light. What shadowed in the dross. I fumble and fall. Chaos. I follow. Awkward, clumsy. Hands shaking, forgotten the routine. I make my way to the bathroom.
Eyes set. Mind is ready, waiting.
Elbows shaking.
Quaking.
Too late to prepare yourself. Tingle of doubt. Stop. The white walls and white ceiling. Locked door ahead of me. Safe. Only just. Take a breath and work your magic. One. Shudder. Two threefour.
My heartbeat slowing. Breathing deepens.
Mind starts clearing.
Disappearing.
Become aware of the surroundings. Mixed thoughts stream into one. The patch of peeled paint becomes a novel. I'll read it until I sleep. I'll read it until I die.

Reality.

Open scars from long ago
Soothing pain will take its toll
As I let the crimson flow
Feel relief so bleak yet full
A kiss of silence brings me peace
In that moment I found release
mirrorscantlie mirrorscantlie
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 5, 2012

Beautiful and tragic all in one. ):