I Tend to Hurt Those I Care About

I started this group because I have noticed a pattern in my life where I run from relationships, people, commitment...even family. This makes me so miserable but I'm so scared to be apart of someones life. I fear needing someone and losing them. This developed mostly after my father died. I'm going through a divorce at the moment to a great guy. We just was so different and I stayed depressed. I've been in a relationship with this wonderful guy who enjoys and shares the same interests as I and it scares me to the point of feeling like a crazy woman because I'm so scared he will get bored with me. I'm not use to getting close to people and when I do I seem to head the other direction in fear of them leaving. I don't know....i think I'm crazy or need to get cable or something. :(

nurse2nice nurse2nice
31-35, F
5 Responses Feb 17, 2009

I do it too, I know how it feels and I've not long realised what i'm doing.

I did get that divorce and I'm still with the wonderful guy that shares the same interest. He makes every day worth it all. I'm so thankful I took the chance on loving and allowing to be loved back.

i'm the same way scared to get close...afraid of needing someone, and them getting bored. it sucks! <br />
<br />
did you get the divorce?

i don't know that...i don't know when its worth it because I live my life every day like I wont exsist the next day. I don't know how to explain it. now that must sound crazy?

I don't think you are crazy. Running away is a defense mechanism. You just have to decide when it is worth risking getting hurt.