Building Rage Deep Inside Me

I'm failing to smile, tripping up
everything about me ******* sucks!
I dont give a **** about myself
I wish I could burn myself

listening to a soft and gentle song
so why do I feel like rage and wrong
destruction running through me
so mixed up; I'm losing the path before me

I'm trying to hold back the tears
I'm trying not to cry. within some fears
I see a sight foretold? something near
something tells me of something to happen

as a transexual? no **** excuse of a being
I'm leaving my mind to find an excuse to dream
of blood, love and hate inside a ******* cage!
because I cant contain THIS ******* RAGE!

the aching feeling of ******* up, tripping over my own
thoughts and idea, plans to be on my own, alone (for a little while)
as I collect myself, breathe, calm down, have a smoke,
because I feel so wrong, twisted, wasted, (choked up on life)

tell me to be happy, (I ******* dare you)
after hearing words like this:
would you dare try to change
my thought-process? of (silent misery)

would you try to look though the tears,
telling me to feel better? (be happy)
man, **** that ****, those ******* fairy tales
of bullshit harmony and bliss
(man i miss being numb, so ****** up to believe anything labeled as "fun")

the only thing I see,
the only thing I believe
the only thing anyone can tell me
is how, not everything, is going to go right
not everyday is going to be good

hell yeah, you got that right:
today turning to the night, 11/26/12
I'm trying not to dwell on the events
the **** that makes me feel so tense

right now, I just want to ******* scream!
right now, I'm so upset, I cant begin to say
right now, I cant process my thoughts to say:
right now, I'm so broken past a simple and meaningful hello

building rage deep inside, I'm holding back
the urge to yell at you, cuss you out
for asking me a simple question of concern
I just wish I was strong enough to hide myself

just to hide away from the world, unable to speak:
speak of love
speak of pleasure
speak of happiness
speak of joy

thinking about yesterday, and how I felt so wrong
when I tried so hard to pace myself, I tried to be strong
this constant, draining, feeling, leaves me bone dry
as I'm put in a position to look you in the eye, and say:

there are so many thoughts about yesterday,
I only wish you knew
so man times I wanted to
force down your throat, like you do to me
because you're just building rage deep inside (me
silentmisery silentmisery
18-21, F
Nov 29, 2012