Who Do You Turn To?

This experience is based on an even that happen today that struck memories of past events.  Where to start......my dad is, was, and always will be an alcoholic until the day he passes away.  And my mom is as well.  Both are divorced and can't stand each other.  And then there is my brother and I stuck in the middle.  My dad, used to always be there for my brother in I.  In fact, he and my step-mother, took custody of us away from my mother and her abusive boyfriend.  To take us out of a bad environment and into a sugar coated yet another bad environment.  My mom has finally came around to keeping in contact with my brother and I since she realized that the big gap of years of her absences were hurtful to us.  I moved out of my dad's house when I turned 18, not because I wanted to freedom to do what I want, but, to be in a safer environment.  Anyhow, today, my brother wanted to put minutes on his cell phone with his phone card and had to activate it either on a land phone or on the internet.  So, my brother goes to use my parents' phone, which he still lives there, to get his phone activated and my dad, drunk on jim beam and coke, got mad and took the phone of the was, ripped the cord out, and told my brother he wasn't allowed to use his cell phone anymore.  My brother uses his cell phone to keep in contact with the guy he works for part time to see when he needs to come in.  My brother works at a atv race track and it is temporary part time job until he can get a full time job.  My dad over reacted to the situation, and he always gets abusive verbally then turns to physical when he gets drunk.  My dad lost his older son last year and it really hurt him bad.  I understand that this has taken a tole on him and he is still hurting.  But, he has lost total connection with my brother and I and hasn't even came to see my new house.  I want to talk to him, but, he is the type that is like a bully kind of father.  I don't know what is going to happen.  I love my dad, and I love my brother, and the silence that my dad has given me and my brother has torn all of us up.  My brother and I are close and I hate to see my dad take is personal pain and problems out on me and my brother.  I just hope and pray that he doesn't stoop as low as beating my brother or worse because that is the temper my dad has.  I am scared for my brother and there isn't much I can do.  I wish my brother would get on his feet and get a place of his own.
hobbitt192002 hobbitt192002
26-30, F
5 Responses Aug 1, 2007

Write your dad a letter and your brother outlining your life and your feelings

Have you herd of Al-Anon? It is a group of men and woman who share their experiences strengths and hopes regarding alcoholic parents, spouses, children..etc. I go because my father too, is an aggressive, violent, abusive alcoholic. I had to work on how I was feeling about it. Al-Anon has helped me deal with his problem my problems attached to his problem and detach with love to stop worrying so much about the things I can't control. Try looking up Al-Anon on Google if interested. It has helped me. Msg if you need to talk. I understand :)

I'm sorry, but you're dad is not an alcoholic he is a drunk! Alcoholics go to meetings. Drunks just keep drinking. You're father is also dopping, which is a fatal combination. It's very scarry that your brother is living in that kind of negative, abusive, demoralizing environment. <br />
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I'm really sorry that you didn't have a good home life to say the least, but now it's time to move away from that and to really help your brother move out of that terrible environment. You deserve so much more. Both of you! <br />
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Get him out of there no matter what. Call a relative, a friend, damn call the Child Protection Services if you have to, but for his safety, sanity and well-being he needs to find a healthy new environment today. <br />
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Take good care of yourself

Your dad needs to remember he has other children apart from the one he lost and make the most of them while he can! He shouldnt be making you and your brother pay for his grief and I think your brother should get out and get a place of his own as being with your dad as he is now will not have a positive effect on him.

good luck