2 Years Now..

....that my wife left me. Over 2 years. We rushed into marriage and even though I thought that it was happening fast, I was ready. So ready. I was in my thirties. I had waited for the right one. We met in a nightclub. I was the DJ on the back-end of a pretty good run. I wanted something different. She was different. Opposite of me. I had tried to date people like me in the past but it never worked. I am ... was, impetuous, juvenile, romantic. She was grounded, intelligent, motivated. We lasted less than 3 years. At the end she said she did not love me any more. I left. She moved in with her "dancing friend from work" a few months later. Married him a year after that and now has a baby girl. It was so easy for her  to scrape me off her shoe and here I am. Missing her. So, so much. Now I feel old...lost...and so alone. I don't even know where to start to put this all together again. I don't think I can. Everything has changed..been lost..been thrown away. She meant everything to me and now nothing means anything. I look at her life on the internet everyday. I know it will hurt but I can't help it. I just wish the pain would stop.

thepandemic thepandemic
36-40, M
2 Responses Feb 16, 2010

You are so right on everything you said Amialive, i am feeling so worthless right now because i was with my love for 7 years and all of a sudden she says she wants space, and she knew how much i loved her and would not be able to live without her. and for no reason she just stopped loving me and making me feel like i was nothing to her. and i still love her more then my life but she hates me. how can God be so cruel???? i was the nicest person when i was with her, i was so kind and caring...and that is what i get for being myself. i wish the pain would stop for all of us.

Sound like what my ex did to me. Four years and she just wakes up one morning and decides that she doesnt love me anymore and all I can do right now is stand here with the pieces of a heart wondering where to go and if love is worth it anymore. And she dropped me just as easily. No tears, no "I am sorry", just out of the blue one night "I dont love you anymore. Goodbye." and the only thing I can think of is "why? what did I do? How long did you steal my love and play with it?" It is amazing how women can make you feel completely worthless in under fifteen seconds with one five word sentence.