She cried over a scene in a ***** film

This happened a long time ago, with a classmate of mine from high-school, whom I had a terrible crush on for a long time.  Over half-a-year after our graduation, we got back in touch with each other and became good friends.

During my late teens and real early twenties I was a total closet pervert.  I kept a lot of **** around my place, but didn't share intimacy with women, except for a hooker now and then, which is neither "sharing" nor "intimacy."  Anyway, this was before on-line anything was available, and I don't think adult video stores were up and running much either, at least not where I lived.  My first purchase of **** movies was through mail-order.  Those movies, as a whole, were pretty pathetic, meaning the same way practically all **** movies are shallow.  There was one I kind of enjoyed though.  One of the girls in it was actually cute, and there was just enough plot inserted to make the scenes plausible.

One day I invited this friend of mine over to watch this **** flick.  She had not seen one yet, and, while justifiably skeptical, was nonetheless curious. 

One opening  'scene,' if I can use that term in the context of a *****, was a rather lengthy scenario where the guy gets his girlfriend alone, and proceeds to convince her to take off each article of clothing, one-by-one, in a rather manipulative way ("Baby, you know I love you.  That's why I wanna do it.  I know you're gonna like it."  And so on.)  I think I liked this scene because I'd been such a louse at seducing girls myself.  This scene was like a little fantasy of mine, although it was totally too easy how the guy got his way.

My friend and I actually watched this on two separate occasions.  She asked to see it a second time to test a hypothesis.  Her suspicion turned out to be correct.  Both times, after the scene ended and we turned off the film, she ended up crying!

This baffled me for some time, and my friend never actually clarified to me what caused her to get upset.  As the years have passed and I've had time to reflect, I think I do understand why.

To me, this 'easy' seduction (as **** movies go it wasn't easy at all; there was no 'action' for over five minutes) was like a little fantasy fleshed out.  To a woman, though, especially a young woman (we would have been 21 or 22), full of uncertainty, self-consciousness, and insecurity around sex, it would have seemed horrifying. 

Aside from the acting being fairly mediocre, every time the guy in the scene wanted to take things one step further, his girlfriend initially resisted.  She said no.  And each time he overcame her reservation with (****-level) suave persuasion.  And in the end, when they were finally naked and in the act (it was her 'first time,' but we're never certain it's his), she's totally into it and passionately wanting more. 

Reflecting on this scene, I've come to see what probably made my friend upset.  One of the huge underlying messages this scenario portrayed was that 'no' does not mean 'no.'  'No,' it seems, can be ignored, as the girl too easily acquiesced to her boyfriend's every wonton desire.  Unless you were prepared to view this kind of scene, it would have seemed terrifying to a young woman.  Suddenly, every lesson you'd learned about saying 'no' was irrelevant.  Men were the masters, and it was up to a woman to give into him, no matter how much she may not want to.

I don't think I'm over-analyzing this.  And, of course, it would be a lot easier for everyone to understand what I'm talking about if they could watch the movie first and see what actually happens.  I got rid of all my ****, for good, over three years ago, though, and don't want it back.  If you want to do some sleuthing, the movie was called "Peggy-Sue."  But it's a classic by now, if you can even find it.

That, I think, is how my friend got hurt from watching this.  I didn't mean for her to feel bad, of course.  I just didn't think to look at it from any other perspective than my own before sharing it with her.  Even though it was a long time ago, and I doubt she remembers (at least, I hope she doesn't), I did hurt a good friend through this callousness.  And while I have no way of asking for her forgiveness any more, I can at least acknowledge what happened, and then forgive myself.
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
1 Response Aug 8, 2010

Thank-you for your thoughtful feedback, Lily. I lost touch with this friend many years ago, after I moved away from Edmonton, Alberta, where we'd both lived. That's why I'll never know for sure why this happened, only speculate as to the reason. This friend and I were never intimate, just very good platonic friends. Maybe that's why she trusted me to show her the ***** movie in the first place? Again, I'll never know. Each time I was caught totally off guard by her crying, and did my best to comfort her, but I never got to hear her version of why she reacted that way.