Continiously Feeling Pain

Everyday I feel down about my betrayal. I just can't seem to forgive so I can move on. The question here is who do i forgive ? Myself or the ex, who is trying very hard to come back into my life, and stay. A short story, she left me after nearly 10 yrs, within 2 weeks she was with another guy, year and half with him, now she wants back into my life as before. We were still in contact this whole time, I don't know exactly why, but I have mixed feelings about this all now. Do I look like fool and take her back, or get away with no contact at all, leave her be ? Is there something I am missing here ? Just so you know, I haven't told her once that I love her, and she has noticed.
normandy35 normandy35
46-50, M
May 11, 2013