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I Love Crossdressing

Hello... I’m Eileen Jeanne Edwards
First, let’s get some things straight, (of which I am) and I am not going to apologize for it, nor am I going to tell you what to do if either I, or this site will offend you .I am a heterosexual Fe-Male [though at times I do consider myself a lesbian, because I prefer being in the company with and do like and love women! So now you’ll ask, what is a Fe-Male? Hopefully, I have created these pages to share something I feel is very beautiful within me, and maybe help answer a few questions and to educate you and others by doing so.
Many people have the impression that crossdressing is just a sexual fetish of some sort. For me, that never has been the case. I will never try not to make judgments about others, their sexual preferences, Transvestites or drag queens, but I do wish it to be understood that not all of us are the same.
As in all things, each person is unique and are often at different points along the path of self discovery. For me, since I was born, crossdressing has always been and still is an expression of an inner gender identity. The clothing, makeup, etc. merely decorate that identity and are not particularly stimulating in themselves to me. (However finding something my size and color on sale is quite a thrill!).
The photos that are linked to this page represent my best effort at outwardly expressing that identity, and at all times are meant to show the feminine image in a respectful and tasteful manner. Why? Because after spending much time and $$ with shrinks and doctors, I was diagnosed with a condition known as Gender Identity Disorder (GID) and Gender Dysphoria.
The for this condition is found in the DSM-IV, which is a big book containing descriptions of diagnoses used by therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and patients of these caregivers.
Having GID means that I am and will always be transsexual, a female, trapped in the body of a male. But this diagnosis, and these labels do work for me. (If they don't work for you, don't expect a big debate from this girl.)
There are some folks who had and will love engaging me in endless banter on this topic. If a debate is what you want, unless you are very open minded, and prepared to “walk a mile in my shoes!”
Briefly, my mom wanted me to be a girl when I was born for a very personal and private reason, and even though I was born a boy, she kept a dressed me as a girl for the first several years of my life. It wasn’t until I was the age of 12, I finally learned who and what I was, Transsexual, female, trapped in the body of a man, when in the spring of 1952 “George,” became “Christine Jorgenson.” The newspapers were filled with stories of the sexchange and when I had learned of the doctor, Harry Benjamin, his office here in New York City, I asked my mom to take me to him so he could make me a girl too. “NO,” was her answer, that I was a boy, to stop dressing up in girls clothes.
There is much more of my earlier years that I rather not talk about because they were very frustrating and painful years of my life. Fortunately, when I learned to play piano and several musical instruments, I was able to create a world for Eileen as a female impressionist. This all came about when I was asked to take a girl I knew to her prom and several of us went to the 82 Club, NYC, where the girls were the boys and the boys were girls.
It was that evening I made the decision to come out of the closet professionally after going to see several shows at the Club. I asked for an audition, was hired doing shows on a partime basis, when I wasn’t doing gigs with my own Band. I had so much fun as an entertainer and just looked forward to dressing up.
Oh yes... “I Enjoy Being A Girl, “ became my opening song! However, the 82 Club eventually became a nightmare for me as I was constantly being hit on, mainly from men who assumed I was Gay because I wore a dress. I wanted no part of that scene because I was heterosexual, preferred being in the company with women. I just loved and enjoyed being a girl!" So, I began introducing Eileen Edwards with my orchestra doing a 30 minute show at many of the gigs I played for.
I've always enjoyed the same privileges girls enjoy, to wear anything, may it be a dress or pants! Girls do this, naturally cross-dress wearing boy’s or men's clothes. I love and enjoy options of what I want to wear when I want to feel soft and very feminine. However, acceptance of my feminine side is sometimes difficult for even friends to accept, to only think of me as a ******... which I am not, never was, and never will be.
When I become Eileen, I love the attention and compliments I receive wearing a pretty outfit may it be a skirt ,blouse or a dress. I love to wear stockings or pantyhose,loving the look and silky feeling of wearing nylons with feminine looking shoes, either heels or flats. Like I said earlier, I love to have the options, the best of both worlds just like women enjoy loving to wear figure shaping sexy tight jeans, dressy slacks,Tops, skirts & Blouses. For those who know who I really am, I ask you please..not to be judgemental of me. Every male has a feminine side as female have a masculine side.

Vicki Rene Said it best, "It is great to be passable but it is even greater to be accepted! You can only be accepted by being a good person and realize all around you are people that may like you, may hate you and some may even just not understand you. Don't run from any of these people, give them your best smile and look them in the eye and say hello. If you run, you will be running all your life."



eileenjeanne eileenjeanne 61-65 8 Responses Dec 26, 2008

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Wow! what a great story

Thank you, for a great aryicle,....What you say is so true!

Great story . What an experence.

Eileen Jeanne, I admire your courage to go out in public dressed. I think it's unfair that women can wear whatever style of clothes, underwear etc they want, but we can't. Not that I want to go around in Gymslips, but to have more freedom to wear feminine clothes without the wrath of She Who Must Be Obeyed (wife) coming down on me would be nice. <br />
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Cross dressing has caused me no end of grief in my life. I'm a fan of those British Gymslips and Knickers that school girls used to wear 50 years ago. I've been wearing girls' knickers on and off for 50 years, and am unlikely to change now. I've been through Therapy about it, but one Therapist said it's harmless which was not what I wanted to hear at the time as it was making me so miserable (I now understand the angst Gays have before coming out). Another said it's an OCD and put me on Zoloft, which did not help. In fact my worst excesses of bodily abuse occurred while on it. So I've stopped taking that.<br />
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There's not much literature on sexual identity, and variations there-of, so I have to go with my gut feelings on my own identity. I don't want to be a woman, but would love to have that pair of reminders gone from my body. Yes, I too could define myself as a lesbian trapped in a male body. I love women, and am jealous of their bodies. Us men who cross dress are not Gay, but we probably have a more developed feminine side which needs attention, but which most of us have to practice in secret.<br />
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So good for you Eileen Jeanne.<br />
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Hilary.

Here Here, I love this story!!!You speak for alot of us. I salute you. I'm am inspired by this lady. There are so many of us out there in this same situation. If the world could only be so kind and understanding us, it would be a better place. I wish the entire world would read this story before it passed judgement on us. So many of us fear the wrath of the world because of getting classed as something we are not. Bless you EileenJeanne.

I enjoyed your story. I wish you health and happiness.

what you wrote is right

I like you having fun. Joy rises above people using each other. Joy seems to have no intention. It is Sacred. Keep. up the good work.