A Hopeless Romantic Lesbian - True Story

Why do people have to love? even we all know that love can only makes us cry and feel terrible pain that only time can heal...

Even if we knew how much I love that person, and I knew to mysel that I can able to give everything and anything to that her, I can also make things I don't usually do, like making you cross oceans from manila to tacloban , leyte using plane just to see her on the first time after meeting her online, finding her office in a big city without any idea where to start in global city, cooked her a meal for her lunch after getting home on an evening shift and deliver it to her office, putting an I love you sign in a freeway in front of paragon plaza in mandaluyong and has red balloons all over the bridge saying I love you with her name on it, surprising her a chocolate, throw pillow and flowers in her office table, finding yourself creating a mimic chicken pillow from a korean drama "My Girlfriend is a Gumiho" that I knew she really loved, creating customized cards with her photo on it, throwing her a surprised birthday party, coming from manila to batangas twice or thrice a month and stay ther for the whole weekends and cooked for her family, mother and siblings even shes not yet your girlfriend and sometimes you let yourself get humiliated and embarassed infront of her friends and etc...

Maybe some of you would never believe that someone can do this for someone they love, or some women would never believe that there's someone is willing to do this for you... all for the sake of love, for others it's insane, crazy and pathetic.. but for me being hopeless romatic I find it sweet and romantic. Thats my way how I show you how much I love you, Its my manifestation of love, those small or big things that I do... is the only way I knew how to show my feelings for someone I choose to love... I'll be so proud to shout in the universe how much I love this person that I chose to love, even I knew that at the end of the day, that she will only rejects me... because she can't love me the way I love her, because shes straight and all that... It hurts that after everything you do, when you asked her "Can I you be my girlfriend?" or "Pwede ba maging tayo?" you will only hear from her "No and I'm Sorry", Yes It hurts like hell, Pero sabi nga nila na "Di ka naman nagmahal para lang maging masaya eh". :(

I'm not bragging the things that I've done for someone. Even if she doesn't like me and I know that there's no chance for us to be together, I wouldn't hesitate to do all the things under my power just to prove you what I felt is true and sincere.

Very frustrating isn't it? but what can I do, even if I love her so much, this much, and even how good is my heart. It's not enough for these people you love not too hurt you... Yes, you can be exhausted by the pain it brought you, but once you love the person, you'll never get tired of loving her.... of course you can be tired in everything that you do for her, and if you feel tired, you can pause for a while and do it again and again until you admit to yourself that you're fed up. At least I knew to myself that I gave mybest, I took the shot and I knew I wouldn't regret everything what I've done for the one I really love, and at least I already answered my WHAT IF's? by doing the WHY not?, they say that "nothing is really over unless you stop trying", it's true though. But sometimes we have to admit to ourselves that there are battles that you have to surrender and accept the fact that we can never have that person in our life no matter how much we want them to be.

If I show and exert my effort, spend my fortune and pushing myself to do extra miles only for one thing... for that only thing... to beloved by person Ichose to love. From there, I can safely say that I did a good job. What can I do? as much as we cannot force that person to love me, I can't stop loving them.

And what's funny here is that? the fact that they broke my heart in a thousand tiny pieces... but each and every one of those pieces still loves them. (damn.....)

But even if I cried, hurt, and exhausted why do I still choose to love? It's because... it's the most wonderful feeling in the world and to love and beloved by the person we chose to love can complete us and I can safely say I / we can only be happy... :)

Yuki on September 5, 2012

I'm tired of loving someone who doesn't love me back, I'm tired of taking care of someone who doesn't care and give a damn about me, Why is it so hard to be happy? How I wish I could meet someone who would love me and care of me even 10%, because I am very much willing to fill the 90% to her.
yuki24 yuki24
22-25, F
Sep 6, 2012