'my Life'

When i was 6 my parents split,they never got married.
At the age of 6 me,my mum & my other siblings moved away from my dad.
When i was younger my mum & dad smoked weed & crack,once we moved away my mum stopped,my mums mum my nana said to my mum 'if you ever touch crack again ill take your kids off you'.At the age of 8 i understood everything,i saw what was going on in my life,at one stage me & my other siblings lived with my nana & pop because my mum & dad always use to fight & my dad use to physically abuse my mum. I love my dad so much i dont have enough courage to hate him! Me & my other siblings got to see my dad during the holidays, i was a daddys girl i got everything i wanted from him, he treated me like his princess & i didnt realise my other siblings were getting left out of the picture & not getting as much attention as me, when i was 6 my mum was pregnant with my younger brother thats when my mum left my dad so he never got to know my brother as a baby, im 11 now & now i understand everything, my mums told me alot , my mum got a boyfriend about 3 years ago, i absolutely hate him, he dosent deserve my mum, no one does but my dad! As much as my mum knew i hated him she still stayed with him well about 2 years ago we moved to Australia, im originally from New Zealand, i hated the fact that we only moved to Australia because of him, i havent seen my dad in 2 years but in 4 days ill be on a plane with my older brother to see him, my younger brother isnt that close with him but he is with my mums boyfriend.
Well ive self harmed once,i regret it so much i wish i never done it but i still have the urge to do it again, ive tryed to commit suicide without anyone finding out,i got a packet of 60mg morfeen out of the cupboard & sat in my room with the packet in my hand, having all this anger running through me not knowing if i should do it or not well i decided not to,my mum started smoking crack again, my mum told him about what my nana said to her but he hated that she started again so he told my nana,my mum told my nana to f### off & stay out of her life,my mum told me & i broke down into tears,im crying now as i type this,ive cut again,its worse but i dont regret it this time i had a good reason to. My dad still smokes crack & weed i had no clue about him smoking crack but i knew he smoked weed,i broke down into tears aswell,my mum called my dad & told him to tell me the truth, i have so much anger towards him but the thing is i dont hate him.
Well thats my life story.
Till0the0sun0rises Till0the0sun0rises
18-21, F
Nov 29, 2012