21 years of hiding. You didn't ask I couldn't tell.

My whole life Iv known that I was gay. When I was in 4th grade I had a crush on my best friends dad. I remember wishing that he could be my dad so I could see him around the house with no shirt or pants on. Some how I knew I could never be with this older guy but if he could be my dad then he would be a part of my life In some way. Growing up I was just like the other boys playing In the mud and throwing rocks at birds. Little did I know my mind was a little different. I felt different feelings for certain people.But I didn't know that these feelings for these people were feelings of homosexuality. I didn't even know what sexuality was. For all I knew every boy had these feelings.

By time I was in 6th grade my feelings grew stronger an so did my curiosity. I know had a friend that would come over and "play" with me. At first it was innocent things like kissing and rubbing. I remember not feeling like it was sex but just something we found out how to do. It was like we had just discovered a new game and we already knew to hide it from our parents. If they knew how much we played this game they would demand we stopped and go play out side. So that couldn't happen. We would hide in my closet behind the hanging clothes and start to kiss which eventually led to some new ideas an we explored those as well.

If you would like to read more please comment and like my post. ThNks
TheNewAndImproved TheNewAndImproved
22-25, M
1 Response Feb 17, 2015

that was actually almost the same with me. I had feeling that I didn't know they were sexual in origin but I had feelings like that and what you said about your friends dad I had very similar thing to. I didn't even know it was homosexual or even what that meant at that age. for me as well, it was 6th grade when I only really started to wonder about stuff as I was getting weird feelings with boys and stuff