Does Trust Exist?After two years of stolen moments I have found myself analyzing everything about what how he acts and what he says. He tells his wife that he is off a motorcycle ride with the boys or he is attending training in another city. However, when I don't hear from him during the day or he doesnt email me goodnight I wonder if he is spending time with his wife or does he have another mistress. I wonder if and when we ever do become a legitimate couple will he be telling me the same lies as he does his current wife. I worry that trust will be a big issue between us. I do get upset when he doesnt call and doesnt email email me and I have found that I retaliate by not answering when he does call or write me. Doesnt he know that I love him and I have/am sacrificing for him every night I go to bed alone. The company's Christmas Party is coming up and I will go alone..I am beginning to think that it isnt worth the wait. I am so tired of being lonely. He has companionship with his wife and all I have is an occasional email, phonecall, and booty call. Its been 2 years..Is it really worth the wait or should I find someone that will give me the love and attention I need on a full time basis. My co-workers have told me to dump him like a bad habit and they don't even know he is married. Its just because of all the broken promises. He will tell me that he will call me in the morning and I wont hear from him until late that night. He calls me on Friday night to make sure I am not out partying or out on a date with someone. He wants me to sit at home and wait for him while he is enjoying spending time with his wife. I tell him that I cant wait to be his only love and he tells me that I am..well I surely dont feel like I am his only love.
I just needed to write down what was on my mind tonight.
Thanks for reading..