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Can't Let Go

I have seen some people post things that mirror many feelings and emotions I have had over my 7 year relationship with a MM. This is not a relationship you can typically tell friends about or brag about because of all the negativity that comes with other peoples opinions. That in itself is hard to deal with. The loniness, the jealousy, the pain, the joy, the overwhelming love and sense of loss are things I have dealt with. I can't say I like the way I feel most of the time. I find myself wishing things were different and I was strong enough to say ENOUGH, but that has not been the case yet. Each time I do, I always think the good outweighs the bad and it starts all over again. I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about this man. There is more than a love. There is some kind of connection I cannot explain to anyone. I have lost best friends over the years because of my choice to continue to love him. I just can't help it. I've tried and have walked away many times but never successfully. I do regret the pain that our actions have caused some people as I would not wish to hurt anyone. Still, I can't just let go. My heart won't let me....
LostSoul1179 LostSoul1179 31-35 3 Responses Nov 8, 2012

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i have a believe dat mans are not worthy to b loved but i am wrong i do love a MM. When we start it was very clear we just feel good each others company dats it, so when it would b time we will b separate. We have a one year relation but i feel like he is something special to me. Now i cnt think like da starting. i missed something when he is with me i felt like he is not mine when we r toghter. Now, I really think may b i made a mistake. I desparetly want to let it go, i cnt tolarate dis pain anymore. he iz caring nd very much shareing to me but still i feel like he doesn't need me. he is already fullfiled. why i still exist in his life. i wish i could b mother of his child. But now i just wanna b strong to let him go with his life. I cnt hv diz pain nymore dat i cheat someones husband.

Find something that YOU enjoy, take up a new hobby. Anything that will increase love for yourself before you dump him. Once u have your confidence back it will be very easy to leave him. You deserve way better than this.

I have tried that! I think about him 24/7. I feel I can't live without him.

You just don't know how your words are so similar to how I feel about my MM. I can't tell talk to anyone about my relationship with him. When I am with him I am on cloud 9 and when I am not I often too many times wonder if its all going to be worth it in the end. Thank you for your post!

I have been so confused ! I would walk the end of the earth for him. what sad...a year ago he started working at the same place . he is trying to make his marriage work ! he said... we need to go slow and easy .

I need to take my own advice here... If he's trying to make his marriage work then he obviously has no intention of any kind of real relationship with you. Mine actually left his marriage at one point, promising divorce and a "normal" relationship for us. He is now back at home with his family. We need to figure out how to let them go and move on. This is very very difficult to do though...

You are so RIGHT! I wish I could take my heart back ! He really seems as confused as ME! So many mixed signals . It's almost like he want to keep me by the corner of my shirt. If I go to smoke. He always shows up. seems like he always has to touch me. Maybe my shoulder , back or when he can run his hand up my dress. if I go in his office

Opps ... we have met a few times. I don't know if it because he has ed. I don't want to embarrass him. we haven't talked about it. I want to say it in person. I'm ok with it. I think that's why he avoids me. Should I talk with him about it. when he drinks he will call me . talking about what to do. someone tell me how to handle this.

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