Can't Let Go

I have seen some people post things that mirror many feelings and emotions I have had over my 7 year relationship with a MM. This is not a relationship you can typically tell friends about or brag about because of all the negativity that comes with other peoples opinions. That in itself is hard to deal with. The loniness, the jealousy, the pain, the joy, the overwhelming love and sense of loss are things I have dealt with. I can't say I like the way I feel most of the time. I find myself wishing things were different and I was strong enough to say ENOUGH, but that has not been the case yet. Each time I do, I always think the good outweighs the bad and it starts all over again. I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about this man. There is more than a love. There is some kind of connection I cannot explain to anyone. I have lost best friends over the years because of my choice to continue to love him. I just can't help it. I've tried and have walked away many times but never successfully. I do regret the pain that our actions have caused some people as I would not wish to hurt anyone. Still, I can't just let go. My heart won't let me....
LostSoul1179 LostSoul1179
4 Responses Nov 8, 2012

This situation that we find ourselves in is so so difficult. There are many days I want my heart to let go.... And like you, it won't! I think about him all the time.... His touches, kisses, messages, our magnets attracting us to one another.... I know we would be great together. Oh how I wish we met about 20 years ago.... Then it wouldn't be so hard and my life wouldn't be full of lies, confusion and pain... Sometimes I wonder how much more I can do this?? U r strong.... 7 years seems like a lifetime to me! Sometimes I wonder why life puts us in these situations?!?

I don't think anyone understands how hard it is to just let go. The conflict between your heart and head is tearing you apart. And then there is no one to talk to. I guess that why I post here. You are not alone.....

My only way to end the relationship is to get the 'substitute'. Won't be able to let go, no until I find another person to rely on emotionally...sad ya..I wish I can be stronger..

Yes, I realize that.