2x Times Why????

I'm young 20 years old.. I'm not perfect have a very rough past.. I have meet a 2 older guys in my life that I thought I could love forever with all my heart.. Then they told me out of no where that they were married. It makes me feel stupid and no worth anyones time. One of the guys is a doctor and says they wish they meet me when they were younger and doesnt know how long he will be with his wife... I try to not fall in love with him but our sex is fantastic and he is everything I ever wanted in a man and more.. WHY MUST HE BE MARRIED?!???? I cant help but to cry. I swear he is my soul mate. But at the end of the day I know that he is married and has a 10 year old daughter and he will probably never leave them for me...