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Madly In Lust With A Married Man

I feel like it's going to take a voodoo magic spell in order for me to forget about this obsession. I am madly in lust with a married man who is 23 years older than I am. He has NO clue and I want to keep it that way. The last, extra thing I want on my conscious is to be a home wrecker. I have craved, and wanted this man ever since I was 13. I'm 23 now. When I first laid my eyes on him, he was literally the most beautiful man that I have ever seen. He still is, I'm sure. I moved away with my parents to another location when I started high school and then I went to college. Throughout these last ten years, I would see and date men that were within my age group. In college, I was even in a serious relationship with my college sweetheart for 2 years. When I started graduate school, we broke up but continue to be good friends to this day. But even though I would go to school and date occasionally, the man that I fell head over hills in lust with when I was 13 would still be in the back of my mind--constantly; even throughout all these years. To make it worse (or maybe better), I have never said one "hello" to him. But I wish with all of my heart that I had.

I found his Facebook page 1 year ago and sent him a friend request but he hasn't responded. I also sent his wife one so that it wouldn't look like I was up to something. I've googled everything about him. I know his full name, birthday, where he went to college, his career, where he lives (specifically), how many children he has, his hobbies, extended family, his business and even when it was established. I am so obsessed to the point of desperately searching for more photos of him. Just to stare at them! I've only found 3. I fantasize about him every night and everyday. I would ********** and call out his name every time I'd give myself an ****** (I know, I'm pretty sick). But wait, there's more...

I looked online and found one of his numbers. I called and when I thought it was him who had answered, I immediately claimed to have dialed the wrong number and hung up. I did it so that I could just hear his voice. I wish that I could just make hot, passionate love to him...just one time. Then maybe I'd be satisfied and I could get rid of this obsession over a man that I know I have NO CHANCE with whatsoever. But he's married and doesn't know that there is another woman who is absolutely CRAZY over him. I wish that I never looked in his direction when I was 13. I have never been this insanely lust driven over any person before. I need something to make it stop!!
jdl0189 jdl0189 22-25 Jan 20, 2013

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