I Know He Will Never Leave Her....

I am in love with a married man. I know this sounds corny but his name is "John". John and I met 6 years ago at work. We hit it off as fast friends and before you know it we were insepperable. I was in a relationship with a real jerk who was abusive to me at the time. Spending moments with John was like having a Knight in Shining Armor!!! Well before long my partner decided to hit me. I took it for a while. One day I was on the phone with John and the jerk came into the house and started beating me. Before I knew it John was in the house rescueing me. the worst thing is John lives an hour away so who knows how long I was being beaten. Anyway He stayed with me helped me with the police, courts etc. and now that Jerk is safely behind bars.

That my friends took place 4 years ago. John and I seemed to grow closer and closer after that.4 months later, Christmas Party at work!!! Why did I have an afterparty at my house. Everyone was drinking and telling John and I that we were a perfect match Why were we not a couple? Before you know it we were escorting everyone out of my home because we could not hep but keep our hands off of each other.

It's been that way ever since. He's got a wife an two beautiful children.

He hates his wife. i know this because before I was his lover we were just friends and he really hated her then.

They sleep in separate rooms of the house because he cant stand to be in the same room with her. She wants the marriage to work and to go to counceling but he just wants things to look good.

You see he and His family are all about outward appearances. Often in the eye of the public. He wants to sow that Happy Family Image to the world. Plus He's madly in love with his children 17 and 9 years old and He wont leave them for anything.

He tells me everyday that He loves me and eventally things will be diffrent....... What's a girl to do/

johnnysgirl johnnysgirl
41-45, F
12 Responses Sep 11, 2008

I do not know how many times I have heard my MM tell me he is only staying for his kids and how much he hates her, etc... he told me they rarely had sex (at least he did not say never) and this past Feb she got pregnant. Now they have another child he can use an excuse to stay with her for. My problem is, whenever I try to walk away, he makes ME feel guilty, like I must not really love him if I am not willing to stay and wait for him. I do believe he will never leave her. He tells me he loves me, and that someday we will be together, but I fear that someday will never come.

personally I believe that you can truly be in love with a married man. however, there has to come a time when you say 'what do I want in life?" Do you always want to be the secret? the other woman? Do you ever want a man 24//7? If so continue to delve deep in your soul and find your self worth. Tell him that you love him but you deserve more. If its true love, after time he will come to you. If its not, he will stay with his wife. You said it yourself, its all for appearances . Either he is miserable too or he is having his cake and eating it too. Please love yourself enough to know what you truly deserve. Good luck!

This disgusts me! The girls my husbands cheated with also say he hates me. Cuz that's what he makes them believe! He shows the utmost love to me. He buys me flowers we have a beautiful daughter and a baby on the way. Being with a MARRIED man is the lowest a woman can go! And anyone who supports tis is terrible. His wife is probably hurt so bad by this. Your probably his secret. She may not even know about you. Of course he talks mean about her to you. He wants you to believe it! He married her for a reason. My usbands still with me after 7 failed double life relationships. Guys get bored. That's all. If hedidnt like his wife he would get a divorce. It's that simple. He still loved her. Obviously. Your just fun for him. He like knowing he can have both of you because you can see between the lines to leave him. You are just fueling his fire..

ppsssttt.... You should place the blame where it should be. You just said your HUSBAND tells women he hates you and it's THEIR fault they believe him? I think that makes it your fault you believe him that he doesn't? His actions say he does. You stayed with him for 7 affairs. Who's the one with self esteem issues?

My story is exactly like yours sensationallover..... It will be two years next month. He won't leave because of his kids. I try to find someone to spend time with too and when I do I am miserable because all I do is think about my soulmate..... my married man. I too want out but am unsure how to go about it. About a year ago we tried to stop seeing each other and that only lasted a week as neither one of us could take it. I have always been strong and had a lot of determination but when it comes to him I am very weak.......

I have been in a relationship with a married man for almost 2 years and I have been happy and miserable. He won't leave his wife because he says he can't do that to his children. He has two boys under the age of 15. I have been trying to find someone else to spend time with but when you are 45 years old, it gets a little hard for a single man to be interested in you for you. I want out but I love him so much and when we are together, I am happy. When he leaves, I am sad again. I wish I could meet single men and move on with my life. Someone help me.

Let's see....<br />
<br />
how do you say it....<br />
<br />

He's never going to leave his marriage.

That was my story 4 years ago. I ended it last year when I stopped replying to his messages. I've 2 affairs since but I still think of him as my soulmate. Sad.

I thought I was the only one who had ever experienced this...

I don't know what you should do. Only you know the answer to that. But you have to seize the day, whatever that means to you! Just remember that life is short and it is better to do something and regret it than to not do anything and regret that you never tried. Big hug for you!

I wish that I could offer you some advice, but I can't because I'm in the same kind of situation. I've been with my married man for the past 20 + years. We have 2 beautiful kids. His wife and him separated 18 years ago. We moved in together, and are still together, but every time I bring up his divorcing his wife, all I get is, "yeah, someday".

Ugh... That situation must be frustrating..