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It Just Happened.

I got engaged early this year, and my fiance moved into my house, I got a job and everything was fine for the time being.

In my training group there was a man who made me happy, above everything else, he made me smile (coming to terms with depression meant this meant more to me than anything else) we got along well, he gave me lifts home and for the first time in my life I could talk about things that affected my life. He told me things that I would normally disrespect someone for, but it was different with him.

I noticed things at home weren't going well and ended the relationship.

On my work night out, in my drunken state, I made the decision to tell him how I felt, he couldn't make it out, his wife didn't want to go out. I told him at work, he'd been honest with me and now it was my turn. He felt, in fact feels, the same way.

I'm not a homewrecker, I wouldn't dream of taking him away from his children, and he's trying to make it work with his wife for them, I respect him for that. We still talk the way we used to, there's no secret between us of our feelings, but we're just friends.

Since then, I've got back together with my fiance, I still think about the guy at work constantly, but we're both trying to make the most out of a bad situation.

My point? Just because you fall for someone you can't have, it doesn't make you a bad person, it doesn't make them a bad person. It makes you human. None of us are perfect, and people need to realise that.

IDontCareWhatYouSay IDontCareWhatYouSay 18-21, F 6 Responses Dec 17, 2008

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Since writing this, I have broken up with my fiancé, he couldn't handle my depression. I tried to break ties with the married man, but working together made this impossible, people were more suspicious as to why I wouldn't speak to him. He's helped me through the past month more than anyone else, and I intend to stay friends with him for both our sakes. People judge me by this decision, I see it in them everyday, even people who I'm meant to be part of a team with, but at the end of the day, I don't care, I didn't intend to fall in love with him and I can guarantee it's the same for him, but I can't change that. Above everything else, I don't want to.

i agree with heidi... why would you get back together with you fiance if you werent willing to give him all of you! & you wont be able to do that until you get over the married man! i mean thats not fair to your fiance if you REALLY love him you will respect him enough & his feelings to not drag another 3rd party into your triangle. thats not fair! & i suggest you break things off wit the married guy before things get out of hand which is what will happen if you stay in contact with him! & you need to be honest with you fiance...

Maybe I'm talking out of turn, however you know I will. It's probably time to take some time to think this through, just maybe your guy is second choice. Sometimes we settle for that but it only brings broken dreams of what could have been. As for the married man he too must take inventory of his life and see if it is what he really wants from life, maybe it is maybe it isn't. He's the only one who can say. I think you should take time before you get married and think it through, the truth will always be in your heart and only you know what that is. As for you and the married guy you connected very well and it's a comfort to be able to speak your mind without having to think about what you say, for if a person really loves you they will understand. Good luck in finding the truth a journey worth traveled.

beautifully said.

I agree - I think more humans really need to be understanding to each other. Sorry for you.

It is not the falling that makes you a bad person....It is what you do after that does....



But truely (speaking from experience my dear)....stay away from him....break the personal ties if you want your soon to be marrage to work.....If you do not do this...You are just setting yourself up for failure

Does your ex fiance, Now fiance know about all of this?