Love Lost Then Found

28 years ago I was college.  Over summer break of my sophomore year I fell in love with a wonderful 23 year old man named Dale.  He was my boss during the summer and our relationship didn't begin until summer was over and school began.  We dated for over a year.  He was a wonderful person, madly in love with me.  I however had a love of the mountains, left school after graduation and headed west.  Dale (loving me so much) wouldn't hold me back from my dream.  Fast forward....28 years.  During that time I married, divorced, and moved back home.  As a single full time mom of 2  children I didn't date for 5 years. This past summer I decided to google "old friends" to pass time on a Friday night.  Lo and behold when I googled Dale's name...he Popped up living 400 miles away.  I emailed him and anxiously awaited a reply...not knowing what his life was like or if he would even remember me.  Within hours he replied.  Since then we have been chatting on-line daily.  He is very unhappily married, his children are grown.  I never threw out his 100's of letters that he mailed me in our youth.  They remained at my parents home for28 years.  He tells me that he had known I had moved back home.  He also tells me that he never forgot me, that he married his wife as a #2 because his#1 choice (me) he had lost. He tells me of all the times he sent unsigned birthday cards to my address   I remember getting those cards.  He tells me that he had planned to retire next summer and call me....and if by chance I was single...he would try to get back into my life. He tells me of how he has thought of me almost daily for the past 28  years.   Instead...I contacted him first...he's still married...but very unhappy.  He is very practical and feels that he needs to wait until he can collect unemployment before leaving his wife and moving to be near me.  We finally got to spend time together this weekend.  It was if the 28 years between us was only a few days....our love for each other was we never were apart.  He wants  to leave his wife. They no longer have a sexual relationship and rarely speak.  He is very unhappy and says he has been for years. He wants me to wait until he is able to begin collecting retirement which is 8 more months. He is so sympathetic for others feelings and caring that my fear is that he won't leave his wife.  Statistics state that he won't leave heart hopes he does. 

bmaduro1960 bmaduro1960
2 Responses Aug 22, 2009

Probably what holds most marriages together, is their financial ties with one another.. After the eight months are over - you will have a good idea of his intentions.. If he stays with her - you will have already lost your heart - and will be hooked.. and it will be more difficult for you .. If he stays with her, you will be the mortar for their marriage.. I don't know why it is - but somehow, I think that these desolate marriages are more complete - when a man is using a woman on the side - not necessarily in a sexual manner - but emotionally as well..

Hi , a lovely story and I kinda share a similar one where I met up witth a girl I had dated over 20 years ago and she was living with somoene who she eventtually left. So its possible he will leave her but, you need to ask frank open questions and also talk together honestly about what life together would look like when things get 'ormal' again and the day to day stuff kicks in... good luck:)