To Amy

You don't know how much you steal my heart away. I told myself that I would never date until I got better and idk..it's just very confusing. I want you but I know that I can not have you. I'm alright with that...but only because I value our friendship so much. I know that you're not a lesbian. I know that you're not bisexual..but I have feelings for you that just aren't seeming to go away...can you deal with that? I would never try anything on you. I would never force you to do something that made you feel uncomfortable.

But when you hold my hand..when you hug me or console me by rubbing my back..it almost feels real. I know you're just being friendly but it's like you're also plucking my heart strings. I don't know if I love you...exactly. I definitely love you as a friend though and I'm so glad that we can catch up and do all this fun stuff together. Whenever I'm down, it's like you completely light me up. Whenever I'm unhappy, you walk in and I instantly smile.

I don't know what to do, Amy. I just don't. I love these feeling that I have for you but I also want them to go away. I want you to know that I just want to be friends, too. I wish I could tell you all of this. I wish I could share my feelings with you. That would be the greatest gift of all.

I will try hard to stop for you. I will make this right.
HappyZappyZaperson HappyZappyZaperson
26-30, T
1 Response Jan 16, 2013

Ahhhh this story killed me beautfully. I can relate, its a tough place to be in. I think that line "I love these feeling that I have for you but I also want them to go away." hit me the most. Hope things work out for the better whatever happens.

Well, I do. The better out of the two is to completely lose them because I would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all. I know that I let myself get a little too deep into my feelings for her and that was my fault. I really hope that I can figure it out too.