So Easy....

There are times when I have gone out and got completely wasted, because I thought it would have been better than facing the situation. Dealing with something numb, at the time, felt like a great idea, but it only made the reality a million times worse.

I have dealt with the more difficult situations in my life with drink. I remember when I started my first university course which I hated, I spent most of my time in the uni bar getting drunk and smoking my way through a pack of 20 b&h.

Even before then, I did the same. I started drinking at a young age. It was never an issue in my family, my Gran encouraged it. My dad was part of a rugby group. None of them alcholics though, they knew when to stop.

I think my wake up call came when I miscarried. I realised what I had done to myself. How my dealing with grief of the end of a relationship lead to a night of drink and drugs and then a miscarriage. That really made me think.

But I haven't stopped drinking. I don't rely on it to numb me though. I don't want to be numb. I'm just scared as to how easy it could be to go back down that route.

deleted deleted
3 Responses Feb 10, 2009

Just because I care :)

Beware the day that emotions will pull the rug out from under you. It's easy to forget the pain of the medicine sometimes.

I wasted most of my adult life on booze, and related stuff. Alcohol was also part the reason of me going to jail. I have learned my lesson, hope you do too before it's too late.