Itz My Life Wel Sum Of It Lool,,

well 1st of all hello 2 u all out there,,,

Heres my story,,,,
Ive being single 16 mnth now the confussin thing is it felt like yesterday..itz bin thiz long now but my thoughtz n flashbacks all come 2 the forth,,i find it extremely nerve wreckin 2 meet sum 1 as ive bin out of action 4 2 long haha,,but yea it all happened so quick i do still wonder how and why,,,i woz wiv my ex partner 4 12 yr sumtyms i do wonder,seemz we were both 15,i had hard tyms wiv him but cudnt part cuz i adored him,,it did make me ill but i returned bk when i got bk 2 my feet,and a visiouse circle i ended up in,,i wont put him down as he had a gud side also,,but in tym i had enuff of chasin n stepd bk,,n i felt at the tym that he didnt want me anyway,,after 12 yr i moved on slowly well more of a rebound thing id say,,,,n then fell pregnant which i beleived i cudnt due 2 never gettin preg before hand,,n yes my head fell off at thiz point as my heart woz still will me ex but my head woznt n i knew things wud never b the same if i went bk ,,i really did not kno which way 2 turn..my life woz hell in all directions,,we did reunite whilst i woz pregnant but i cudnt focus on the relationship n i felt it woz wrong at the tym n i knew in the back of my mind he wud never let it go n things wud start happenin again n i cudnt put meself n me litlle thou it,,it woz a risk of my feelings or realizations n just wanted get thou the pregnancy ok,,i spent the last 4 months of my pregnancy not knoin which way 2 turn,,i gave up my home n my dogs n everything i had becuz it woz all 2 much 2 handle,so i had 2 make a choice anyway,,a few of u may think that choice is easy but trust me people it woznt,i then had the littlen thou c-section n my dayz got abit touch,,soonz i had him i suffered from depression n anxiety n it woz hell,,it woz like a combination of thingz,,relationship breakdown,the fact i had lost everything i loved n build up in my life n i had a baby..n i really thought my life woz over,,it took me months but tbh im not actualy over him but ive gotta deal wiv it despite him treatin me like **** i luvd him,when i meet people on line etc i silly little things that people say bring so mainy memeries bk,,n makes me loose interest,,but then when i chat 2 sum1 i like i step bk n shut down as i can c history repeatin it self n it scares me,,so im stuck in a rut in relationships now,,n just think bad of erm all,,im settle 2 wot i can b wiv me lad strivin on ya kno how it goes,,n this is my reason 2 being single,,,,seemz long i kno but this is cuttin it short 2 the best i can lool,,
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 9, 2013