Love Affair Is Not Worth It All

In 2002, I met the most loving guy ever on a blind date.. I was only 21 years of age then and he was 24.. We immediately click and we had a wonderful relatioship.. Sadly, in 2002 i lost my mother, and the same man was a shoulder to cry on.. He was there for me, rang me all the time to find out how i was doing and how i wascopying..At that time, he was living in another city and we used to communicate by telephone most of the time... I was madly in love with this man.. I thought he was the  one. He wasn't good looking at all, but i loved him for who he was.. In  August 2003, he was offered a job in my  hometown. Even though i could see things were not the same, i was hopeful that we'll work things out.But instead of working things out, things got even worse... He started to date a  girl who was also a pharmacist, as he was also a pharmacist...Started to be rude to me and started to  hang out with friends. My heart was in pieces, the man i thought was my everything has changed.. My life was in a state of turmoil and despair..  I had just lost my mother the previous year, had a younger brother to take of and him(boyfriend) on the other hand was playing. I  decided to drop college as i wasn't doing well  and went to London, to work so i could assistant my brother and family back home.

My intention was to stay for 2 -3 years in Europe, to make sure my brother finishes his tertiary education and to save a bit of money for myself to further my studies..But, after 3 years I decided to start a new life in London and that was after hearing that he got married. In the 3 years I'vr been London, i tried to communicate with him, but he was less interested and at one point he told me that he was with his girlfriend...So we could not talk long.
Eight years down the line, the same man has come back to me and  asked for forgiveness, telling me how sorry he was for treating me so bad and for belittling me.. I did accept his apology, but its true when they say, "you'll never forget how a person made you feel". Im turning 32 this year and about to embark on a degree in nursing.. I am single and enjoying my life in Europe.. He is also doing well for himself, busy with his Phd, having his own business and married the most intelligent girl who is alos doing her Phd...But there seem to be something missing in his life...Westarted to communicate very frequently and he was telling me what a kind, caring, honest, compassion and passionate person I am..And how much he misses me so much..I felt to his trap as I still love the guy despite everything...Three weeks after our emotional affair, I decided to stop everything... I realised I was just not suiteable for the game we were playing.. He had not intention of living his wife, but wanted me to be the othe girl...What a cheek??? The nice thing about it, is that im the one who stopped it first.. I told him that clear that he could not meet my needs and could not offer me anything cos he is married...That I was seek and tired of being the 2nd choice, cos I deserve to be treaed like a queen too. And, i explained to him that i know exactly what i wanted in life...I have never felt good in my life, the way i felt that day..He started with stories of , oh why did i lead him on?? I have now accepted that a person will always put you where he/she wants to be..Even if you know you don't belong there..So to ladies out there, know what you want in relationship...And if it doesn't feel good let it go...You too worthy to be treated like a door mat.w
Pretty1980 Pretty1980
1 Response May 14, 2012

Good for you. You do deserve to be treated like a queen, and you will find the man who will treat you like it.