Theres Only One Man For Me

I fell in love with my cousin when I was 8 yrs old. I remember the first time we met we were flirting heavily, at this age meant giggling & pushing each other. Then he said, You know your really cute. I thought YES! Then this girl who was watching tv says UH you know you to are cousins right. I turned to her with wide eyes. NO WAY!! From then on our dilema only grew. I have never slept with him but he is the only man I have ever been faithful too because I am always with him in my heart. If I knew he wanted me I would run to him right now. We planned to go skiiny dipping one night when I was 15 & he was 17. I don't know how my uncle found out but he made my cuz sleep in his room that night when he usually slept on the couch while we visited. He even locked him in the room with him so I know something was up. I asked my cuz the next morning if he told my uncle & he swore he didnt that  he never would. I never saw my cuz again after that. It has been 12 yrs & I still think of him every hour of everday. I thought I would just hold out til I was 18 & I would go find him but when I was 17 my uncle called just to pass on the news that my cuz got married. I was devasted but I have done my best to move on & build a life for myself. Still I can't help thinking of him all the time. I fight it & I try so hard to put him outta my mind but then I dream about him all the time & I have long come to realize there is just no stopping this love.  I have been married now for 2 yrs we have an amazing son & I feel like such a bad person but I can't deny the way I truly feel. I don't know what to do with myself at this point. Not sure if I should try for closure or if I can live the rest of my life dreaming of a time thats past. Thanks for listening. :)
Shiver Shiver
26-30, F
15 Responses Oct 23, 2006

How u doing now

I was in love with my my class mate when I was 13 and I never seeing him for 10 years. Loving him affected all
relationship after that
I finally found him after 10 years after fantasizing about him and missing him almost everyday. He wasn't the same man I loved my mentality is changed.I finally got My closure. So my advise to you is go and see him .you probably get a closure

Okay, you haven't seen your cousin in so long, you're thinking about what use to be. I think if you saw him again, you might realize you don't think of him that way anymore. <br />
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He is family, he will always be family. I've never been in this spot before, but it sounds like a complicated one. Hope things work out for you.

i would go for it but not announce it.

Please, save your marriage and get counseling. You are in love with your cousin for Gods sake. You have thinking of him for decades now? Please, not attempting to be mean but you have some very bad issues going on in your head. You must see a counselor. You must get help to fix these abnormal feelings. I can understand having a "crush" on your cousin but to be fantasizing about him since you were 8 years old is, I think you can agree with me, abnormal.

think of it this way that was 12 yrs ago he is a very different person. You were also 15 at the time. You need a way to let it go.

I'm sorry that your heart is aching, but there is a reason that it is against the law to marry your cousin. The gene pool is too small, and your potential children could be born with many diseases passed on through people who are inbred.

i feel really sorry for u that your heart is aching to fall in love and then have second thoughts

Here is what I have tried to do:<br />
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Don't live your life in the past and realize that what will be will be. I believe there is a purpose for everything but we just don't understand everything because we are human.<br />
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I try to appreciate every experience in life whether it is good or bad. We can't know what joy is unless we experience sorrow.

Don't let your uncle get in your way. You know you love your cousin . . . see what you can explore without damaging your current relationships

I am sorry to hear that your heart is aching. I know many people who married their first cousins because I associate with lots of people, who were born in the Middle East. For what it is worth, marrying your first cousin in the US is legal in at least 25 states. Each of us carries 8 lethal genes, and the chance of birth defects in cousin-cousin offspring is about the same as in noncousins. However, the offspring from a cousin-cousin relationhship marrying a cousin does lead to a much higher chance of birth defects than in the general population. Although the two of you being married is a barrier to the having a relationship with each other, being cousins really isn't....that is, aside from the societal stigma and the feelings of your family.

Well sorry for you, it is normal to fall in love with coz is natural, every where in world, people in Asia ,Africa ,as wel in native Americas it is normal to be match maked and there are no taboos there, and it is a previlge, to marry someone whose family and friends we know and they know ours, but In America we have taboos and restrictions, In America sometimetimes only war veterns or war wounded somewhat marry thier thier cousins because of sympathy for the war wounded or veterans it the last resort and quick fix solution, but in Asian and african and Arab countries it is first opertunity to be happy for the rest of your life , These relation 80% success stories, what I remmember In America they lifed the bann since 1980.But still taboo remains among the societies there. <br />
As you are married now it is wise and worth to concentrate on your family to keep it united and dedicated and serve yor partener, and to stay away to do any thing to influence the family and marriage of your cousin to care for them inside you but not emotional that can devestate his present life, , <br />
If in your latter age or your cousin latter age , you did not have indipendly happy marraiges, may be it will be soothing your wounds and hurts in life ,to turn to your cousins you dreamed so long, but without expecting too much depending what is your situation now, after somany years, and depending what positive qualities and factors you bring to invest in relation with your cousin or anyone else., Dont come to anyone dooped and desperate with nothing to invest in for a fantacy future or great imposible crush or last resort on your cousin or anyone. <br />
::: WITH KINDNES:::<br />

Me too im inlove with my cousin she is 17 yrs old and im 16 i dont know why i fell inlove with her but what i know is I love my first cousin we are far away from each other now and i suppose to meet her again this december..